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William Clark

William Clark In Battle

Lewis & Clark Title Card


Rhett McLaughlin as William Clark
Character information
Birth name William Clark
Born August 1, 1770
Caroline County, Virginia
Died September 1, 1838 (aged 68)
St. Louis, Missouri
Physical description
Hair Brown
Eyes Brown
Based on
William Clark Based On
Rap battle information
Appeared in Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted
Vs Bill & Ted
Release date May 25, 2015
Votes on website 58%
Location(s) The Mississippi River
Did you hear that, Meriwether?
— William Clark

William Clark, alongside Meriwether Lewis, battled Bill & Ted as a part of Lewis & Clark in Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted. He was portrayed by Rhett McLaughlin.

Information on the rapper

William Clark was born on August 1st, 1770, in Caroline County, Virginia. He was an American explorer, soldier, Indian agent, and territorial governor. A native of Virginia, he grew up in pre-statehood Kentucky before later settling in what became the state of Missouri. He is most known for role as the leader of the Lewis and Clark Expedition, alongside Meriwether Lewis. 

Thomas Jefferson dispatched Lewis and Clark to find a water route across North America and explore the uncharted West territory after Jefferson purchased the land from France in the Louisiana Purchase. During the journey, they were guided by a Lemhi Shoshone woman named Sacagawea, who helped greatly in their expedition through the American continent by being an interpreter and helping the explorers in their dealing with the natives. Clark also drew maps of the land to bring back after the expedition was complete.

The maps Clark drew helped the U.S. government, as well as the rest of the nation, understand the geography of the west. His journal also provided insights into the lands, peoples, and animal life of the region. On September 1st, 1838, Clark died in St. Louis, Missouri, at the age of 68.

Lyrics

[Note: Clark is in light brown, while Lewis and the bald eagle are in regular text. Both members of the duo rapping at the same time is italicized.]

Verse 1:

You can't be starting with Lewis and Clark

'Cause we cut a path through MCs like a walk in the park,

Then give 'em back a whole stack of maps and accurate charts,

Showing exactly where our footprints on their buttocks are marked!

We're two traveling wordsmiths spitting hotter than a furnace,

And we'll own you on the mic like the Louisiana Purchase!

You're worthless! Your future selves shoulda told you that.

Now go back in time and give Doctor Who his phone booth back!

We discovered bears and beavers and prairie dogs and weasels,

Rattlesnakes and catfish, owls, larks and eagles,

And plus flora galore! And according to our observations,

These two dickweeds right here are severely endangered!

We inspired pioneers and travelers near and far!

You inspired air guitar and Dude, Where's My Car?!

We conquered much greater dangers in our trek through Mother Nature,

So step off, but tell Bill's stepmom: "Don't be a stranger!"

Verse 2:

Did you hear that, Meriwether? I think they mean to brawl!

I'll take Neo. I'll take the one that no one knows at all!

From the falls of Black Eagle to the Pacific,

We put the 'dis' in dysentery 'cause we spit sick… (CAW!)

Without Rufus, you'd be useless on the trails we blazed!

You couldn't navigate your way out of a Circle K!

Send over Garth and Wayne because you turkeys aren't worthy.

Suffering your raps is a most Bogus Journey!

Trivia

  • Clark is the first Rhett & Link character whose first name was never mentioned in battle.

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