Shark thankfully saved this battle from not being historical. I'd originally had Sam and Max vs Mordecai and Rigby planned, before he made the brilliant suggestion of Sam and Max vs Bonnie and Clyde for cops vs robbers, and I love it.
Title cards by Noah because he's amazing.
'The eponymous Freelance Police duo, Sam & Max, and infamous 1930's criminal duo, Bonnie & Clyde, battle it out as cop duo versus criminal duo.'
Bonnie and Clyde Background: Mineola Bank
Sam and Max Background: In front of their apartment building on 1313 Straight Street
Beat: http://youtu.be/vwdFN96xOe4
Battle[]
EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY
VS
BEGIN!
(Sam is denoted by brown, Max is denoted by white, Bonnie is denoted by orange-ish, Clyde is denoted by a dark pale blue, and both together are denoted by bold.)
Sam & Max[]
(Starts at 0:23)
Hey, look, Sam. Wait, what? Uh, I mean Max.
That's better. We're up against a couple of lovesick, no-talent hacks.
Some glorified criminals in the dumbest case of adultry I've seen yet,
With a more anti-climatic death scene than Romeo and Juliet!
We faced gay germs more cunning than you, so whatcha gonna do?
While you're busy failing in all your heists, we'll be flying off to the moon!
Actually, we'll probably be chasing after them. After all, we're the Freelance Police.
You're both failures as thieves, crippled, and just a disturbance to the peace.
Bonnie & Clyde[]
(0:44)
Stand back, Bonnie. Why, Clyde? Dumb and Dumber have arrived.
Prepare the getaway car out back. Coppers, you'll never take us alive!
These vigilante P.I.s are just some animal bozos.
An overweight dog and a hyperkinetic rabbit, jerkin' off their Penal Zones.
It took us years just to get caught! You'll be more paranoid than Bosco!
We outdrive any incompetent cops, who're highway surfing their DeSoto.
Yer comic book chumps who got lucky. Our legend's monumental!
And meanwhile, these Monkeys will never Violate a girl's Heavenly Temple.
(At 1:04, both Bonnie & Clyde and Sam & Max quickly get into their cars and begin a chase, Bonnie and Sam both driving.)
Sam & Max[]
(1:06)
Holy hedgehogs running sideways down an intersecting street!
We're about to take down these Thorn-tons in our seats!
Bonnie & Clyde[]
(1:11)
Quit loiterin' with yer lines. It's like yer stuffin' yer mufflers,
We're together forever; yer destined lovers are each other,
Sam & Max[]
(1:16)
Failed attempts at aggravated assault? There's another penalty for you,
When Sam & Max Hit the Road, we'll hit you down, too!
Bonnie & Clyde[]
(1:21)
We ain't talking, coppers. Bonnie & Clyde ain't no rats.
Ya can't step to the criminal legend couple with class!
Sam & Max[]
(1:26)
Oh, please, your legend's a compensation based on photos the police got.
We'd tell ya to stay on your toes, but you've already cut 'em off!
The only Bonnie and Clyde I ever liked were a ghost and a bun'.
Bonnie's never even killed anyone, but I'm not afraid for you to meet the barrel of my gun!
If you really wanna win, you'll need Moai better rhymes.
It won't be hard to track you down. You always leave trails from your crimes!
Today you'll go down together. You won't be buried side by side.
To all, a relief. It's the end of Bonnie and Clyde!
(At 1:46, both cars quickly pull over and stop, both sides jumping out.)
Bonnie & Clyde[]
(1:48)
You couldn't be more brain dead if we stole yer guys' brains!
Yer nothing but roadkill to us, so just try to put us in chains!
You can go Buck yourself, we've got family and friends to help us.
You get one smart friend every adaption, and a Commissioner who never shows up.
We may not be the best, but we still got the ever-acclaimed fame.
And meanwhile, yer stuck remembered fer a borin' point-and-click adventure game.
We Barrowed you six-feet under. These Champions just obtained victory!
Robbing this win from you was easier than taking candy from a baby.
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
(To the tune of the Sam & Max Freelance Police TV show theme song)
EPIC RAP!
EPIC RAP!
EPIC RAP! BAH-HATTLES!
VIDEO GAMES! VS HISTORYY!
Fanart[]
Here's a piece of fanart that GIR drew:
Poll[]
