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(Robert Lutece is denoted by dark gold and Rosalind Lutece is denoted by light gold.)

A rap battle?

A battle of raps.

It sounds absurd.

How so?

Why would one fight another through music?

Why not?

It's a match of petty insults.

True.

What even is rapping?

A knock.

I beg your pardon?

A rap is a quick, sharp knock, typically done along a hard surface and usually in a series of repeated knocks.

How so?

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

Did you just quote Edgar Allan Poe?

So what if I did?

Fair enough.

So a rap battle is a battle of two people striking suddenly.

It makes you think, doesn't it?

Perish the thought.

I wonder if we'd rap.

Maybe we will.

Perhaps we already have.

Perhaps in another universe we already had, and in this we will eventually.

Maybe we won't, and maybe we eventually will in another universe.

Raps, rapped, will rap.

Constants and variables.

What about those same named fellows?

What about them?

Perhaps they are different versions of each other from other times that decided it'd be fun to fight each other.

Just like us?

That's the intended allusion, yes.

Or perhaps they are different people that just hate each other for sharing the same name.

That is also a possibility.

And a probability.

But of course.

What of the battle we will be in?

Will we be in it?

Perhaps we already have been.

Or we won't.

That's a probability.

It's not even about us, anyways.

It could be.

A last minute change?

Well, it's about time.

It's about time?

It's about time.

Ah, I see what you mean.

And this one, a battle of magic?

Magic?

The one after that one.

Ah, I see.

Magic isn't real.

One might say Vigors are magic.

But they aren't.

But people can believe.

They are genetic mutations of the body. It's more on par with the likes of Superman.

Superman isn't magic?

Now you're just being cheeky.

What sort of magic is this, then?

Dark magic.

Like Harry Potter?

I said dark magic, not dark arts, but it's to the same effect, yes.

I'm calling it. Next battle is Severus Snape vs Dumbledore.

It is similar to that, actually.

Is it, now?

It's the last legacy.

Or the hindmost hallucination.

The eventual envisioning?

Constants and variables.

And still not as classy as us.

But a certain class nonetheless.

Perhaps a change of class is in order.

For us or for them?

Perhaps both.

Perhaps.

And what of this one?

A fairly popular suggestion.

Not really.

But the person making these enjoys the suggestion quite a lot.

But that doesn't make it popular.

No, it does not.

Then don't lie.

I'm not. It's been a suggestion conceived long before this series, one for the original series. Thus, popular. He enjoys it, as do several others.

I don't. There's enough war in Columbia, don't need a whole battle focused on it.

Likewise.

Well, obviously, if I dislike it, then you will, too.

Touché.

War breeds animals, you know.

Like these two?

Exactly.

And this last one?

More fighting? Joy.

But in a different way. It's all for sport.

Still doesn't appeal to me.

I suppose.

Isn't this character from a company the creator said wouldn't be appearing in these last set of battles?

The match-ups were changed around.

Again?

I can only imagine the many different versions of this conversation in other universes.

With different battles having been chosen.

Like the many different people appearing in this battle.

Indeed, there are quite a few.

It's one against many.

Technically two against many.

The other is only there for support.

And it's actually several sets of individual one against one battles.

Constants and variables.

You make a fair point.

Don't I always?

Don't get too cocky, now.

But when will they begin to be released?

Perhaps they already have been.

Or they currently are.

In another time.

But the date?

Of what year?

2015, of course.

That's 100 years away

Indeed, it is.

Time only exists so that everything doesn't happen at once.

Wise words from Abraham Lincoln.

He didn't say that.

If it's on the internet, it must be true.

True.

But the date?

There are many dates.

Of when the battles release.

Again, there are many dates. Time is not set in stone by a singular construct.

Fair enough.

There are many universes in which it would be released at different points in times, so it's difficult to say when this universe's battles shall be released.

Basically, he hasn't finished writing at the moment in time this is being scripted, so he can't say when the battles shall be released just yet.

Precisely.

Epic Rap Battles Video Games vs History Season 2 logo
Season 1:
It Begins
Charles Darwin vs Ash Ketchum and PikachuUsain Bolt vs Sonic the HedgehogLink vs King ArthurSly Cooper vs Robin HoodMike Haggar vs Theodore RooseveltPac-Man vs the GhostbustersSam & Max vs Bonnie & ClydeMarth vs Joan of ArcGLaDOS vs HAL 9000Sub-Zero vs ElsaThe Stanley Parable vs The Twilight ZonePhoenix Wright vs Atticus FinchKirby vs GalileoStar Fox vs Apollo 11Shigeru Miyamoto vs Walt Disney
Season 2:
Electric Boogaloo
Buffy vs Belmont vs Van HelsingZelda vs AthenaSpyro vs SpikeBigby Wolf vs Emma SwanGTA V Gang vs The EdsBeat vs BanksyPrincess Peach vs CinderellaSamus Aran vs Ellen RipleySteve vs EmmetToriel vs Mother TeresaBlack Mage vs MerlinBooker DeWitt vs The DoctorLittle Mac vs Rocky BalboaSolid Snake vs Erwin RommelDante vs DanteProfessor Layton vs Sherlock HolmesGordon Freeman vs Isaac NewtonMega Man vs Astro BoyGarrosh Hellscream vs Adolf Hitler
Season 3:
Every Rapper Is Lemons
Ganondorf vs SaladinVaas Montenegro vs The JokerGruntilda vs The Wicked Witch of the WestPorky Minch vs Eric CartmanCarmen Sandiego vs WaldoHandsome Jack vs The Phantom of the OperaDr. Eggman vs Dr. FrankensteinWario vs Donald TrumpHeihachi Mishima vs Homer SimpsonTBATBATBATBATBATBATBATBATBATBASeason finale
Off-Seasons Sonichu vs My ImmortalOctodad vs OctomomBEN Drowned vs Michael PhelpsKuma vs GrizzSonic.EXE vs CupcakesKyu Sugardust vs CupidCaptain Qwark vs Zapp BranniganRidley vs Ron JeremyPepsiman vs Santa ClausWhite Face vs Blackface
Sequels Sonic the Hedgehog vs Usain Bolt 2Sly Cooper vs Robin Hood 2
Bonus Battles Until Dawn vs The Cabin in the WoodsNess vs Steven Universe
News Blogs

ERB: VG vs H News with Phoenix WrightERB: VG vs H News in the Twilight ZoneERB: VG vs H News with Professor LaytonERB: VG vs H News with...?ERB: VG vs H News with the Lutece TwinsERB: VG vs H News with Bowser

Scrapped Ness vs MatildaFreddy Fazbear vs Chuck E. Cheese
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