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Sengoku Jidai vs Three Kingdoms - Rap Battle Thingy

FUCK FUCK FUCKIN HELL, IT'S DONE. JESUS! Enjoy this you pillock cuz this took me a good long while. Also, I created shit Titlecards because I though "Why the hell not eh?" So about the battle itself

We have the Three Unifiers of Japan's Sengoku Jidai era, Oda Nobunaga, Tokugawa Ieyasu and Toyotomi Hideyoshi against the Three Leaders of The Three Kingdoms, Cao Pi, Liu Bei and Sun Quan. Lets G-huh? Why didn't I use Cao Cao instead of Cao Pi? Well it's because Cao Pi established the Wei Kingdom, yes Cao Cao did do more stuff but Cao Pi established it ok? Good. LET'S GO!

Also, fuck sake this was hard to fuckin code. Like 3-4 hours maybe? idk, went through like 3 H3h3 podcasts and like maybe 10 Vsauce videos. I don't want to see anything about Three Kingdoms or Sengoku Jidai ever again

Liu Bei is Yellow

Cao Pi is Blue

Sun Quan is Red

Tokugawa Ieyasu is Grey

Oda Nobunaga is Purple

Toyotomi Hideyoshi is Green

All is White (No they aren't they Asian) ((Not that White >:())

Titlecards

Sengoku Jidai









VS!

Three Kingdoms










BEGIN!

Three Kingdoms

Sengoku Bizzare-as wanna fight against Warriors that made a Dynasty?

We'll just bring the Chaos when they come and mess with our Legacy.

You're gonna get burned by our raps hotter than your sis,

You'll rule this battle with little time like Tokugawa's time in office.

Legends going Xtreme against a Fool, pussy and a failed Monkey King.

They'll lose this battle because the Admiral Yi-ng!

Sengoku Jidai

Please, watch me win this battle with burns hotter than Chi Bi

We'll Rock this battle and go in raw like a piece of sushi

We'll leave you defenseless when these Shoguns! show guns!

I'll own this backstabber 3 times like a Hydreigon!

I got sharp attacks and bombs just like my Boom Blade

And when you think you won this battle, We'll come and rain on your parade!

Three Kingdoms

The King of Shu will slay, no ninja to save the day,

Like some floodgates, I'll drown you in my flow, call me 流备. (pronounced as Liu Bei)

You the Demon King? Then call me the Demon Slayer,

Just do seppuku, ya die like your brother and teacher.

This Gai's dropping bombs on top of this cheating husband,

If you try to conquer us, there will be no return.

We're so fly that we drop bombs on em, Call them Nobu-Nagasaki.

And when the Sun's out, you gonna get burned like Honno-Ji.

Sengoku Jidai

You're a big eared fellow who stalked an old man,

Like Liu's bae, I'll break you up worse than the Takeda clan.

There's No way you'd win this battle, like the Cliffs, I'll leave you Red,

I got dark Magic, Gather up your troops you'll still be dead.

You want to battle? I'll Fight ya with my Fire lines like my Monferno,

When you choke on your raps, you'll get ambushed with ours like your bro.

You gotta Hit the Quan after he traded his sister for your brother,

And you killed your own wife? You're as brain-dead as your father.

Three Kingdoms

Dude that's kind of fucked up that you killed your own wife,

Not as fucked up as Quan taking your brother's life.

Hey shut it you backstabber! You're worse than Lu Bu!

Now you're getting Cao Pi-ssed, Havoc will pursue.

Hey, quit the fighting and let's face the enemy instead

How about you quit your wine-ing? Oh wait, Fei's dead

I got fire lines so make like your dad where he ran

Then I'll just fire back shots and make a Sun Jian the second

Sengoku Jidai

Ahhh...what a sight to see, guess we did conquer China after all.

Now time for me to be shogun. What?! You'd cause Japan's downfall!

Shut up you peasant! Without me you would not even be here!

Well I actually did some shit while you just got killed by your own peer. (GRRR!)

Calm down men, let's take this with a level head,

Calm down? Why don't you come down and fight than being lazy instead?!

Look, without your western friends, you wouldn't have any shots to fire,

Like your Ambition, this will be the end of this short-lived unifier.

Three Kingdoms

Sengoku Bizzare-as wanna fight against Warriors that made a Dynasty?

(Sengoku Bizzare-as A pun on the word "Bizzare" and the anime "Sengoku Basara" about Sengoku Jidai. Warriors that made a Dynasty? A pun on Dynasty Warriors, a game about the Romance of Three Kingdoms.)

We'll just bring the Chaos when they come and mess with our Legacy.

(Bring the Chaos Bringing Chaos = Fight em basically, and Chaos is one of Cao Pi's weapons in Dynasty Warriors 5. Legacy Legacy is one of Sun Quan's weapons in Dynasty Warriors 4 : Xtreme Legends.)

You're gonna get burned by our raps hotter than your sis,

(gonna get burned by our raps hotter than your sis Get burned line, yadda yadda yadda. But the last part. hotter than your sis Oda Nobunaga's sister Oichi was considered a pretty woman and it's also a "heh heh your sis is hot joke ha" AND a reference to Oichi's death where she was burned to death with her husband.)

You'll rule this battle with little time like Tokugawa's time in office.

(You'll rule this battle Hooray, Sengoku Jidai gon win! with little time like Tokugawa's time in office Oh nu, they not gon win. Because Tokugawa only was Shogun for 2 years aka "with little time" :0.)

Legends going Xtreme against a Fool, pussy and a failed Monkey King.

(Oh yes, this is a wet line. Legends going Xtreme A reference to the previously said Dynasty Warriors : Xtreme Legends series. a Fool When Oda Nobunaga was a child, he had the nickname "The Fool of Owari" because he was a bad boi. pussy Compared to what Nobunaga and Hideyoshi did, Ieyasu was the "pussy" one. Also, from what Extra History says, Ieyasu wrote a letter to Hideyoshi saying he won't be involved with his battles. a failed Monkey King Nobunaga had a nickname for Hideyoshi called "Monkey", Monkey King was also a Monkey, hence the name. The Monkey King was also in a novel/book called "Journey to the West". Hideyoshi has a campaign to take over China and Korea, making him "Go to the west" since Japan is on the East. But Hideyoshi failed, hence the "failed Monkey King".)

They'll lose this battle because the Admiral Yi-ng!

(They'll lose this battle yeah yeah, lose battle but because...? Because the Admiral Yi Admiral Yi was the one who stopped the previously said Korean Campaigns by Hideyoshi, again. Hideyoshi lost, so SJ would lose Yi-ng FIRST CHINESE PUN! Ok prepare for more Chinese puns down there. Anyways, this pun. This is a pun on the previously said Admiral Yi and the chinese word 赢 which is pronounced as "Ying" and the word means "Win" So they saying they'll lose because the Admiral won.)

Sengoku Jidai

Please, watch me win this battle with burns hotter than Chi Bi

(watch me win this battle Line taken froma quote from Oda Nobunaga during the Battle of Okehazama, quote went something like "Do you really want to die like this? Everyone that wants to fight, meet me on the battefield tomorrow, people that don't watch me win it". win this with burns hotter than Chi Bi another fire line, blah, bleh, bluh. Last part. burns hotter than Chi Bi Chi Bi was a navy battle lead by Cao Cao, Cao Pi's father, and Sun Quan. Sun Quan's soldier/military dude Huang Gai set fire to Cao Cao's ships, causing him to flee and a lot of deaths.)

We'll Rock this battle and go in raw like a piece of sushi

(We'll Rock this battle Reference to Pokemon Conquest, a combination of Pokemon and Sengoku Jidai. In the game Ieyasu uses Rock type pokemon. Also rock the battle pun bleh. go in raw like a piece of sushi Sushi is a Japanese dish that has sushi rice and raw fish. Also a pun on raw raps bluh.)

We'll leave you defenseless when these Shoguns! show guns!

(We'll leave you defenseless When Hideyoshi has power in Japan, he made everyone hand their weapons to him, which they did. Kudos to him. Shogun! Show guns! Tokugawa was the Shogun of Japan, Nobunaga loved guns, hence "Show guns". Also, Shogun/Show guns rhyme scheme.)

I'll own this backstabber 3 times like a Hydreigon!

(I luv this line. I'll own this backstabber Oda is talking to Liu Bei here, Liu Bei helped Cao Cao and Sun Quan yet after he fought them later on. 3 times like a Hydreigon Liu Bei visited Zhuge Liang 3 times to his house to convince him to joince the Shu army, Hydreigon is a Pokemon Nobunaga has in Pokemon Conquest, and Hydreigon has 3 heads. And a pun on the Pokemon itself is the German word "Drei" meaning 3.)

I got sharp attacks and bombs just like my Boom Blade,

(I got sharp attacks and bombs simple sharp and bombs line...Next!. like my Boom Blade Boom Blade is a combination of a Cannon and a Spear that is one of Ieyasu's weapons in various games he's in.)

And when you think you won this battle, We'll come and rain on your parade!

(WETTEST line in the battle, Let's GO!. And when you think you won this battle, We'll come and rain on your parade This line is a reference to the Battle of Okehazama where the Imagawa clan thought they were going to win the battle against the Oda clan, so before the day of the battle. They started to party or "parade", but smart Nobunaga says no no, we win. So the Oda clan prepared a sneak attack on the Imagawa clan. Right before they were about to engage the surprise attack, it "rained". Which help in the Oda's favour. Also to "Rain on your parade" is to destroy someone's party time, and that's what Nobunaga did to teh Imagawa clan.)

Three Kingdoms

The King of Shu will slay, no ninja to save the day,

(The King of Shu will slay Liu Bei himself is the King of Shu and "King of Shu" is a weapon you can get in Dynasty Warriors 4 : Xtreme Legends. No ninja to save the day If you haven't noticed, they are battling their counterparts, Cao vs Nobunaga, Liu vs Ieyasu and Sun vs Hideyoshi. Anyways back to the Rap Meanings, Tokugawa Ieyasu has a ninja named Hattori Hanzo. Without him, Tokugawa Ieyasu would have been dead early on in the Sengoku Jidai. So if Hanzo isn't present Ieyasu would be dead, which is what Liu wants to do.)

Like some floodgates, I'll drown you in my flow, call me 流备. (pronounced as Liu Bei)

(Like some floodgates, I'll drown you in my flow Oda forces were going to fight the Uesugi clan until the leader, Uesugi Kenshin, opened the floodgates. Drowning the Oda forces as a result. Also drowning in flow pun, yeah yeah bluh. call me 流备ANOTHER CHINESE PUN THAT ONLY 2-3 USERS WILL GET! Liu Bei's Chinese name is 刘备 and the 刘 part is pronounced as liu obviously. But another chinese word, 流, is also pronounced as Liu. And the word means leak or flow. So Liu Bei is calling himself Flow Bei because he has flow.)

You the Demon King? Then call me the Demon Slayer,

(You the Demon King? One of Nobunaga's nicknames is "Demon King". Then call me the Demon Slayer The Demon Slayer is a weapon that is Oda Nobunaga's that is in various games he is in. Also, Demon Slayer...Demon...Slayer. Cao Pi is calling himself a Demon King slayer aka Oda Nobunaga killer.)

Just do seppuku, ya die like your brother and teacher.

(Just do seppuku Oda Nobunaga's death was seppuku. seppuku, ya die Sounds similar to Sengoku Jidai. like your brother and teacher Nobunaga's brother-in-law, Azai Nagamasa, committed seppuku and Nobunaga's teacher also committed seppuku.)

This Gai's dropping bombs on top of this cheating husband,

(This Gai's dropping bombs Gai = Guy pun, Whos' Gai? It's Huang Gai! He was a military general in the Wu Kingdom and served Sun Quan. And in the games tat he is in, he uses bombs. this cheating husband According to a letter Oda sent to Nene, Hideyoshi's wife, Hideyoshi speaks about other women when around Nobunaga. Which means he's cheating)

If you try to conquer us, there will be no return.

(If you try to conquer us The previously said failed Korean campaign. there will be no return Hideyoshi died on Korean land, so he did not return to Japan alive even tho his body was sent back (from what I researched btw not 100% sure on that))

We're so fly that we drop bombs on em, Call them Nobu-Nagasaki.

(We're so fly that we drop bombs on em fly and bomb are good terms in rapping, you should know what they are already. Call them Nobu-Nagasaki Nagasaki was a Japanese place that got bombed by the US, also the previous words fly = plane and bomb = the actual bomb. Also a pun on Nobunaga and Nagasaki

And when the Sun's out, you gonna get burned like Honno-Ji.

(And when the Sun's out, you gonna get burned When the IRL Sun in the sky is out, you can get sun burnt. but Sun Quan is saying when he is out, his rapping will burn them. like Honno-Ji Honno-Ji is the temple where Oda Nobunaga was assassinated. Akechi Mitsuhide, the assassin, set fire to the temple that Nobunaga was resting in. Nobunaga then noticed and committed seppuku.)

Sengoku Jidai

You're a big eared fellow who stalked an old man,

(You're a big eared fellow Quote taken from the warrior Lu Bu before he was executed by an order by Cao Cao. The quote goes something like "You big eared fellow! You are the most distrustful man in here!" who stalked an old man Reference to Liu Bei visiting Zhuge Liang's house 3 times, which kind of makes him a stalker.)

Like Liu's bae, I'll break you up worse than the Takeda clan.

(Like Liu's bae, I'll break you up worse than the Takeda clan Liu Bei's wife, Sun Xiang Shang, also Sun Quan sister, got divorced aka broken up. To break someoen up is to hurt them badly. And after the Oda-Tokugawa forces fought against the Takeda forces, with Nobunaga's tactics, the Takeda clan basically crumbled or broken up.)

There's No way you'd win this battle, like the Cliffs, I'll leave you Red,

(No way you win this battle Line says what it is, also a reference to No, Oda Nobunaga's wife. Name can also be spelt Nohime. like the Cliffs, I'll leave you Red A pun on the Battle of Red Cliffs, also "leave you Red" means to leave you bloody like you get hurt.)

I got dark Magic, Gather up your troops you'll still be dead.

(I got dark Magic From what you see from the games, he has some sort of dark magic as a ability Magic, Gather A reference to Magic: The Gathering as Liu Bei, Sun Quan and Cao Cao are cards in the card game.)

You want to battle? I'll Fight ya with my Fire lines like my Monferno,

(You want to battle? Changed version of the Pokemon line "X wants to battle!" battle? I'll Fight ya with my Fire Battle, Fight and Fire are Pokemon terms Fight ya with my Fire lines like my Monferno Monferno is a Pokemon that has the typing Fire/Fighting. Monferno is also Hideyoshi's Pokemon is Pokemon Conquest. Also fire lines pun again woo~.)

When you choke on your raps, you'll get ambushed with ours like your bro.

(When you choke on your raps To choke on a rap is a bad thing, idk how to explain it. You'd get ambushed with ours Basically "Since you failed, it's our oppurtunity to attack. meh. like your bro Sun Quan's brother, Sun Ce strangled/choked a Wu warior named Xu Gong to death, and as a result. Xu Gong's mates ambushed Sun Ce and killed him.)

You gotta Hit the Quan after he traded his sister for your brother,

(You gotta Hit the Quan A reference to the song "Hit the Quan" by ILoveMemphis, also the line literally means to attack Quan. traded his sister for your brother As previously said, Sun Shang Xiang was Liu Bei's wife, and one of Liu Bei's sworn brothers, Guan Yu was killed in battle by Lu Meng, as Lu Meng was ordered to do that by Sun Quan. So the line is a traded his sister for Liu Bei's brother.)

And you killed your own wife? You're as brain-dead as your father.

(And you killed your own wife? Cao Pi forced suicide his own wife, Zhen Ji. fucked up. You're as brain-dead as your father To be brain-dead means to be stupid, so Nobunaga is saying Cao Pi is stupid for killing his own wife. Also a reference to Cao Pi's father's death. As Cao Cao died from a brain tumor.)

Three Kingdoms

Dude that's kind of fucked up that you killed your own wife,

(Dude that's kind of fucked up that you killed your own wife Liu Bei responds to him knowing Cao Pi killed his own wife and saying it's fucked up.)

Not as fucked up as Quan taking your brother's life.

(Not as fucked up as Quan taking your brother's life. Cao Pi responds to Liu Bei's message saying it's not as fucked up as Sun Quan killed his sworn brother Guan Yu.)

Hey shut it you backstabber! You're worse than Lu Bu!

(Hey shut it you backstabber Sun Quan tells Cao Pi to shut his mouth. He also calls him a backstabber as Wei help Liu Bei beating Lu Bu and later on fighting him. You're worse than Lu Bu Lu Bu was a warrior that betrayed his own leader Dong Zhuo. Sun Quan is saying Wei is a worse backstabber than the backstabber that they captured themselves.)

Now you're getting Cao Pi-ssed, Havoc will pursue.

(Now you're getting Cao Pi-ssed Sun Quan is getting Cao Pi pissed/angry and is also a pun on Cao Pi and Pissed. Havoc will pursue Cao Pi is saying because of Sun Quan, He will now bring bad stuff to him. Also Havoc is Cao Pi's weapon in Dynasty Warriors 6.)

Hey, quit the fighting and let's face the enemy instead,

(Hey, quit the fighting and let's face the enemy instead Liu Bei is suggesting to not fight each other, rather to fight the opponents right in front of em. Sengoku jidai. Basically doing a Voltaire.)

How about you quit your wine-ing? Oh wait, Fei's dead.

(How about you quit your wine-ing? Quote took from Liu Bei's line "quit the fighting" previously said. Also a pun on whining and wine Oh wait, Fei's dead Liu Bei's other sworn brother was Zhang Fei, he drank with his other sworn brothers, hence the "wine-ing" pun. Also "Oh wait, Fei's dead" is Liu Bei's quote when he heard that Zhang fei was killed. Quote was " Oh. Fei is dead".)

I got fire lines so make like your dad where he ran,

(I got fire lines so make like your dad where he ran Another reference to the Battle of Chi Bi where Sun Quan set fire to Cao Cao's fleet and Cao Cao ran away. So line is saying I'll burn you so hard, you're better off running away like your father did

Then I'll just fire back shots and make a Sun Jian the second.

(Then I'll just fire back Quan said he has fire lines, so Cao says he will fire back the lines he threw. fire back shots and make a Sun Jian the second Sun Quan's father, Sun Jian was killed by a birade of arrows aka shot

Sengoku Jidai

Ahhh...what a sight to see, guess we did conquer China after all.

(Ahhh...what a sight to see Oda exclaims that seeing the Three Kingdoms break out into a fight is great for them guess we did conquer China after all This is a reversal of what Hideyoshi didn't do, conquer China and Korea. Seeing them making the Three Kingdoms fight means they have won/conquered this battle

Now time for me to be shogun. What?! You'd cause Japan's downfall!

(Now time for me to be shogun Oda Nobunaga's original intention was to become shogun of Japan but it was stopped thanks to Akechi Mitsuhide What?! Ieyasu and Hideyoshi are confused thinking they would make better shoguns than Nobunaga You'd cause Japan's downfall Supports the previous statement.)

Shut up you peasant! Without me you would not even be here!

(Shut up you peasant In Hideyoshi's early life, he was a peasant and served Oda Nobunaga as a sandal bearer too Without me you would not even be here Supports previous statement.)

Well I actually did some shit while you just got killed by your own peer! (GRRR!)

(Well I actually did some shit Hideyoshi is saying the stuff he did was far better than what Nobunaga did while you just got killed by your own peer Oda Nobunaga got assassinated by his soldier Akechi Mitsuhide.)

Calm down men, let's take this with a level head,

(Calm down men, let's take this with a level head Ieyasu is suggesting that they should calm down and be level headed than shouting at each other. This is also good because Ieyasu is known for his calmness and patience.)

Calm down? Why don't you come down and fight than being lazy instead?!

(Calm down? Why don't you come down Calm down/Come down rhyme scheme come down and fight than being lazy instead Compared to what Nobunaga did, Ieyasu didn't do that much in fighting.)

Look, without your western friends, you wouldn't have any shots to fire,

(Look, without your western friends, you wouldn't have any shots to fire Westerners were the ones who introduced arquebus, a type of musket/gun, to Japan. And Oda loved guns. Also, shots fired pun.)

Like your Ambition, this will be the end of this short-lived unifier.

(Like your Ambition, this will be the end of this short-lived unifier Reference to Nobunaga's Ambition. also Nobunaga was short lived cuz...he was assasinated. eh

WHO WON?

I SAY WHO'S NEXT!

YOU DON'T DECIDE

Who WON?
 
4
 
1
 
1
 

The poll was created at 15:53 on March 19, 2017, and so far 6 people voted.

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