Bear Grylls and Theodore Roosevelt battle to see who is more manly.
Nice Peter as Bear Grylls EpicLloyd as Thedore Roosevelt
Announcer:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
BEAR GRYLLS!
VS
THEODORE ROOSEVELT!!!
BEGIN!
Bear: I'm Bear Grylls, the master of thrills
I survived the heat, the wind, the wet, and the chills
You're Dr. Eggman with a cowboy hat
I climbed to the top of Mt. Everest, beat that!
You were a terrible president who accomplished nothing
Call yourself a teddy? Let me rip out your stuffing
It's going to be a rough ride for you, four eyes
This will show you how a real tough man survives!
Teddy: Don't be so Taft, you messed up Brit
Take a water break with this elephant shit (Picks up crap upon saying verse and chucks it once ended)
I hang on Rushmore with Abe, Tom, and George
Why don't you eat termites and hide in a gorge?
I'm a Progressive man, strong as a Bull Moose
I'll stick my shotgun right up your caboose
You're a fraud, a phony! Your shows dramatized
This battle will leave you evacuated and traumatized
Bear: You can't even win a race at a Nats baseball game
Well, you won once, but still, that's lame
I traveled to places with conditions un-Bear-able,
while you starred in a movie about a museum that was terrible
I served in the army, I know about war
Who in the hell would bring a pony up an elevator?
At least I'm not a bully, my manners are proper
Watch me fly as I take off in a helicopter!
Teddy: Give it up son, and go to a motel
Or is it against your own rules? Well, well, well!
You can't even pronounce the word "zebra" correctly
Guess who went to presidentcy at only age forty?
There isn't any need to croos your heart, pal
That frown is as long as the Panama Canal
Stop making snow forts and rap, you overgrown child (The camera turns to embarrassed Bear who is making a snow shelter, as he's on a snowy mountain during a blizzard)
This is an Epic Rap Battle, not Man vs Wild!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!