Epic Rap Battles of History Wiki
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DC vs ES

Before Note:[]

The two great TV show/radio talk show hosts, Dick Clark and Ed Sullivan, face off to see who is the better host

Vote and comment if possible.

Oh, and if you have a suggestion for Season 2, put it in the comments. And thanks for reading.

Battle:[]

Ed Sullivan:[]

Now for the sensation that is sweeping the nation,

I’m destroying a host that's giving the girls much flirtation.

I've seen that shitty show of yours, and I can recall,

That the Band won't Stand, and then you took the fall.

I’ll stomp down your so-called Pyramid, watch it crumble.

While you’re selling of your shares got you into deep trouble

You died from a heart attack, where you put up no fight.

I have this battle in the bag, and Dick, “kiss me goodnight.”


Dick Clark:[]

It's real good to be beating you lyrically this year, no doubt.

But now it is time for the dullest Star-maker to burn out.

You allowed the Commie to Dance, yet you are one of ‘em.

You got poor reviews, because your no-personality problem,

You have no talent at all; it’s all from your guests that you survive.

You needed help from Elvis Presley down to the Jackson Five.

And it seems you have a temperament attitude; that’s not good.

You’re a poor host and did your job just as good as anyone could.


Ed Sullivan:[]

You should stop wasting your time Bowling in the Columbine,

And it may be my show that fell, but your reputation is on the line.

The world doesn't need no Music Survey to see where you're going,

With your Missing Link, It Takes Two to learn your Greed is showing.

You’re another radio has-been, only coming out to see the New York Ball.

I’ll Rock you to the future, Roll you down, you’ll remember nothing at all.

It’s time to cut the show biz, kid. You’re just another Teenage girl,

You’re dancing with the others, just to get acclaim to the world.


Dick Clark:[]

You need to learn how to stop Clowning Around and actually host.

Worst of all, your family didn’t tell you of what you were diagnosed.

Like McCartney, you couldn’t remember an old guest for your life,

Because of you Al—what were we talking about? Oh! Your wife.

Take your show into your hands; stop calling your wife for her critique.

And The Dave Clark Five’s clean act brought your show's peak

Time to take the Star away from the maker, since it does not belong.

Now this has been Dick Clark, slaughtering Ed Sullivan, now so long.


List of Epic Patts Battles of History
Season 1 Stephen King vs Edgar Allan PoeMark Twain vs Jack LondonNorman Bates vs Hannibal LecterDick Clark vs Ed SullivanMuhammad Ali vs Rocky BalboaMister Ed vs ApplejackLiam Neeson vs Leonardo DiCaprioWeird Al Yankovic vs Rucka Rucka AliStevie Wonder vs Ray CharlesPenn and Teller vs Siegfried and RoyRobin Hood vs William TellPaRappa the Rapper vs DrakePhoenix Wright vs Atticus FinchSadako Yamamura vs Kayako SaekiThe Finale
Season 2 Roald Dahl vs JK RowlingsMr. Miyagi vs SocratesWeird Al Yankovic vs Rucka Rucka Ali IISigmund Freud vs Freddy KruegerDanny Zuko vs Arthur FonzarelliBuffy vs BladeProfessor Layton vs The RiddlerDracula vs Frankenstein's MonsterBonnie and Clyde vs Romeo and JulietAnthony Zuiker vs Agatha ChristieLauren Faust vs Steven MoffatTiny Tim vs Ralphie
Season 3

Jack the Ripper vs Zodiac KillerCatherine vs MorriganAstro Boy vs Mega Man

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