It’s almost midnight and Venice Beach looks like a desert. The ocean is calm and welcoming, it sure is to this couple. She is in the water in full dress, a white beautiful dress. She is laughing and enjoying herself as her date watches laying in the sand. We can see the Santa Monica Pier in the background, lit as a christmas tree. She tries to lure him into the calm waters of the beach. He laughs.
MARLON BRANDO: Not tonight, darling. Let me just enjoy the view.
He says smoothly as she comes out of the water, looking like an angel.
MARILYN MONROE: You’re no fun.
She says romantically, almost seducing him as she lays besides him.
MARLON BRANDO: I can be fun, sugar. You know it.
Marilyn picks a glass and pours some wine in it. Seductively, of course.
MARILYN MONROE: Tell me about it...
Both start leaning in for what it may be their first official kiss. But when they are close enough...the wind starts to pick up and helps the ocean get stronger. Blue lightning strikes out of nowhere.
MARLON BRANDO: What the hell...?
A blue almost transparent orb appears above the couple. Marlon gets up and helps Marilyn to do so as well. The lighting is coming out of it, it seems. The orb unleashes all its power as it disappears and a big muscular naked man falls from it, he is crouching down.
MARLON BRANDO: Whoa...hey, hey, big man...are you alright...?
Marlon gets close to him, close enough for the man to grab him by the neck and strangle him.
MARLON BRANDO: Arghhhhhh!
The man looks around, examining every little inch of his environment. He sees a terrified Marilyn Monroe on her knees. Looks back at Marlon, examines him from head to toe. Marlon is sporting a black leather jacket, his sunglasses can be seen in one of the pockets.
TERMINATOR: Give me your clothes.
But Marlon is already gone. His face is almost purple and his eyes are full of bloody veins, almost sticking out. The Terminator drops him. His dead body falls to the ground like a sack of potatoes.
MARILYN MONROE: What...what....
She's out of words. Crying her eyes out.
TERMINATOR: Be careful.
He says as he takes all of Marlon’s clothes, leaving his corpse naked. Marilyn is by his side crying in shock. The Terminator looks around and sees the Santa Monica Pier, his expressionless face drops a little side smile and walks away.
The sky starts to illuminate, this time orange lighting is invading the clouds. From the skies, a telephone booth drops in the roof of a nearby building. The lighting sticks with the booth and sizzles out of it. Its door opens.
TED: We’re back, dudes.
Bill and Ted come out of it, both carrying shotguns. Beethoven and Socrates are right behind them. Socrates’ hands are empty while Beethoven holds a sniper rifle.
BILL: So...what do we do?
Beethoven stands on the edge of the roof, nodding his head. He points the sniper rifle, looking for something.
TED: Dude, you said you had a plan!
BILL: Oh yeah! I do! Don’t worry, dude!
SOCRATES: Most excellent, William. Let’s hear it!
BILL: Uh...
BEETHOVEN: You might want to check this out, Ted...
Ted and Socrates go to the ledge of the roof as well. Bill goes back to the telephone booth. Beethoven gives the sniper rifle to Ted and points something out.
BEETHOVEN: There.
Ted looks through the scope.
TED: Bogus...
SOCRATES: What is it?
Ted gives back the sniper to Beethoven.
TED: It is already here, dude. It’s here, it already killed that dude on the beach...
BEETHOVEN: At least, that girl is alive. So that’s something.
SOCRATES: It’s never done that before.
Suddenly, screams are heard. The group is looking everywhere trying to figure out where are they coming from.
TED: What the hell is that, dudes?
They are right in front of the Santa Monica Pier. A full crowd is coming out, running, all in terror.
BEETHOVEN: Got it.
TED: Don’t need the sniper to see that, dude.
They see the Terminator climbing the Pacific Wheel. The wheel shakes every time he moves.
SOCRATES: That’s a first as well.
Bill comes out of the telephone booth.
BILL: Nothing to worry about, So-crates!
TED: Dude, what were you doing?
BILL: Nothing to worry about, dude. So here’s my plan.
Beethoven laughes.
SOCRATES: Give the kid a chance, Ludwig.
BEETHOVEN: I’ve given him plenty now.
BILL: Since the tin can is calling for it, we go there, dudes. Me and Ted try to get his attention, we bring him down.
TED: We bring him down, dude!
BILL: Right, dude? So when it's down, we all tackle it! When he can’t walk no more, Beethoven has his chance to shoot that thing. He can say something like “This is my town now, pal.” or some bad ass thing like that! How does that sounds, my dudes?
TED: That sounds right up my alley, dude!
They both air guitars. Beethoven looks at Socrates.
SOCRATES: It could work.
Beethoven rolls his eyes.
The Terminator is in the top of the Pacific Wheel, looking around him. In a nearby kiosk both Bill and Ted are crouching with their shotguns, shaking. They look at each other and they nod. They go out. Ted shoots his shotgun at the air.
TED: Hey, big dude on the wheel!
The Terminator looks at him.
TED: Yeah, you, dude! I’m talking to you!
Socrates is seen hiding behind a claw machine. The Terminator starts to climb down.
BILL: Damn. He is really coming down, dude.
The Terminator is on ground level and he starts walking towards the duo. They both point their shotguns at him. Still shaking. But out of nowhere, the Terminator gets shot in the gut. He keeps walking. Ted and Bill look at each other.
TED: Beethoven! What in the hell are you doing, dude?!
They hear another shot but it misses. The Terminator is face to face with Bill and Ted.
BILL: It’s now or never, dude! Go!
Ted slides through the space in the middle of his legs and shoots him in the back. Terminator has one knee down in the ground. Bill from the front shoots him in the elbow, bringing his other knee to the ground. The robot is kneeling, Socrates comes running and grabs the robot’s arm while Bill and Ted grab his feet so he doesn’t get up.
TED: Now, Beethoven!
Beethoven comes out of the shadows carrying his sniper rifle.
BEETHOVEN: My pleasure.
He has the barrel of the gun in the Terminator’s forehead. The robot is just looking at him in the eye.
SOCRATES: Wait!
TED: What’s the problem now, So-crates?!
SOCRATES: He is not resisting, look.
Socrates lets the arms of the robot go and the Terminator is just kneeling there. Bill and Ted back off as well and the robot is still not doing nothing.
BILL: What?
Beethoven is still aiming at him.
BEETHOVEN: He is playing us...
Ted tries to take the sniper rifle out of Beethoven who has his finger in the trigger. He just drops it to the ground. And turns his back, angry.
TERMINATOR: I am not playing you. Trust me.
TED: But you’re the mean looking machine dude who has been trying to kill us!
BILL: You are the one who killed Rufus right in front of us, dude!
TERMINATOR: Ted...Bill...
The Terminator voices suddenly changes to a more old and throaty voice, the voice is in pain and lacks air.
TED: Rufus...?
Beethoven turns around.
TERMINATOR: I’ve reprogrammed the Terminator... now its mission is to protect you.... I’m sor- I’m sorry I can’t be the one who protects you.... just.... just.... ugh...
The Terminator is just kneeling there.
TED: Robot dude...?
TERMINATOR: ....party on, dudes....
The recording stops and Terminator goes back to his normal mode. Bill and Ted look at each other. They look back at Beethoven.
SOCRATES: I believe it.
Ted looks at the robot in the eye.
TED: What is your mission?
TERMINATOR: To party on, dudes.
Terminator does the air guitar. Beethoven throws him a shotgun and nods.
BEETHOVEN: I’ll trust you, machine. For now.
BILL: Well... what now, dudes?
The Terminator points the gun forward, walkers are coming at them slowly in the distance. One is naked and the other one wearing a white dress stained in blood, probably from the big bite on its belly.
TERMINATOR: We go.
The Terminator starts walking forward, Beethoven looks at Bill and Ted and follows it. Socrates does so as well.
BILL: Let’s give it a chance, dude.
Bill starts to follow it as well. Ted keeps watching them as the Terminator blows one of the walkers heads off with a shotgun blast. Ted looks at the sky.
TED: Let’s party, dudes.
He tells himself as he smiles and walks forward to join his group. In the distance we see a bigger herd in the beach and some walkers coming out of the ocean. Los Angeles is on fire and a few helicopters are fleeing from it. The sky is turning red.
| The Walking Dead: ERB Edition | ||
| Season 1 | Judgement Day • Cancer Man • | |
| WW:ERB | ||