Sonic vs Gandhi

Lexi and I did a thing! This is the battle of people who gotta go "fast". I promise I'll clean up the nav at some point


Sonic vs Gandhi

Sonic vs Gandhi


Sonic Title Card 2


Gandhi Title Card

Battle starts at 0:27

Sonic the Hedgehog:

You don’t stand a chance you faker. I’m the fastest thing alive!

I’ll burn you up like the British Empire and serve you up with fish and fries!

I rap as hot as chili when I’m dogging foes like you

How’re you gonna race? You’re not even wearing any shoes!

You can’t fast fast enough to pass me religiously, you kiddin’ me?

The knight of the wind doesn’t take defeat, not even from infinity

I’m a master on the track, so sit back, relax, and listen close

When I target a protester, they get slapped harder than street hoes!

I dunno how you coped with that while you were stuck in prison

Maybe you like being bent down in a pretty bad position

You say you’re celibate, but we all know that you’re trippin

No way in hell you were giving flowers to deflower all those women

I bring naan-stop violence to beat eggheaded foes into submission

Starving yourself? What, are you trying to do? Play a bad game of chicken?

“Oh god” is right. The future of your life and movement is mine, you know

Don’t be all mad. You’re the one who took a month long trip to get salty bro


It is not within my nature to serve a rodent education,

But much like a teen girl's fanfic, Sonic will get schooled, so please be patient.

You've come seeking to embarrassment matching wits, weren't the last 15 years humiliation?

No matter. It will be like WW2 when Gandhi drops more bombs on Japan than Civilization.

I'm no fighter, but if you challenge me to Pacifisticuffs, I will not be so kind,

For the only piece that I'll be giving you, is that of my mind.

For one obsessed with speed and racing, you just cannot get your series on track;

Owner of speed shoes, but your reboots only make your progress move back.

From your very Genesis, you've been a dated copy attempting to make history,

Yet now Sonic's Generation is a fanbase making bad stories and art of him and his furries,

Paired with bland OCs, all dark and brooding, each and every name has a Tumblr edge blog.

I wonder what cliche tragic backstory would be out there for Mahatma the Hedgehog?

With your game library, the time takes me to quit them would make me the fastest around

Sonic Boom is right, your games have no substance other than speed and sound.

When I leave your fate worse than your systems, you'll need much more than a Caste.

You were so quick to rush into this and lose, but as Sonic Sez; gotta go fast.

Sonic the Hedgehog:

Go ahead and be a hater. You won’t be laughing when I put you in your place

The people will be tired of you soon since all the money’s plastered with your face

I’m sikh of you, but I don’t beef with someone who's got nothing better to do

Let’s just hope you learn to dodge some bullets, or you’re screwed!


I heard the music was the best part of Sonic, but now I just can't find it true.

And they say that Indian food is the worst diarrhea that one can ever sit through.

Now, I would be impressed you spit something to make 06 not your biggest bust,

But I'm hardly the first mustached man to leave you in the dust.

Who Won?

Who Won?

The poll was created at 05:46 on December 7, 2017, and so far 6 people voted.
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