Lexi and I did a thing! This is the battle of people who gotta go "fast". I promise I'll clean up the nav at some point
Battle starts at 0:27
Sonic the Hedgehog:
You don’t stand a chance you faker. I’m the fastest thing alive!
I’ll burn you up like the British Empire and serve you up with fish and fries!
I rap as hot as chili when I’m dogging foes like you
How’re you gonna race? You’re not even wearing any shoes!
You can’t fast fast enough to pass me religiously, you kiddin’ me?
The knight of the wind doesn’t take defeat, not even from infinity
I’m a master on the track, so sit back, relax, and listen close
When I target a protester, they get slapped harder than street hoes!
I dunno how you coped with that while you were stuck in prison
Maybe you like being bent down in a pretty bad position
You say you’re celibate, but we all know that you’re trippin
No way in hell you were giving flowers to deflower all those women
I bring naan-stop violence to beat eggheaded foes into submission
Starving yourself? What, are you trying to do? Play a bad game of chicken?
“Oh god” is right. The future of your life and movement is mine, you know
Don’t be all mad. You’re the one who took a month long trip to get salty bro
It is not within my nature to serve a rodent education,
But much like a teen girl's fanfic, Sonic will get schooled, so please be patient.
You've come seeking to embarrassment matching wits, weren't the last 15 years humiliation?
No matter. It will be like WW2 when Gandhi drops more bombs on Japan than Civilization.
I'm no fighter, but if you challenge me to Pacifisticuffs, I will not be so kind,
For the only piece that I'll be giving you, is that of my mind.
For one obsessed with speed and racing, you just cannot get your series on track;
Owner of speed shoes, but your reboots only make your progress move back.
From your very Genesis, you've been a dated copy attempting to make history,
Yet now Sonic's Generation is a fanbase making bad stories and art of him and his furries,
Paired with bland OCs, all dark and brooding, each and every name has a Tumblr edge blog.
I wonder what cliche tragic backstory would be out there for Mahatma the Hedgehog?
With your game library, the time takes me to quit them would make me the fastest around
Sonic Boom is right, your games have no substance other than speed and sound.
When I leave your fate worse than your systems, you'll need much more than a Caste.
You were so quick to rush into this and lose, but as Sonic Sez; gotta go fast.
Sonic the Hedgehog:
Go ahead and be a hater. You won’t be laughing when I put you in your place
The people will be tired of you soon since all the money’s plastered with your face
I’m sikh of you, but I don’t beef with someone who's got nothing better to do
Let’s just hope you learn to dodge some bullets, or you’re screwed!
I heard the music was the best part of Sonic, but now I just can't find it true.
And they say that Indian food is the worst diarrhea that one can ever sit through.
Now, I would be impressed you spit something to make 06 not your biggest bust,
But I'm hardly the first mustached man to leave you in the dust.
|Aquaman vs Poseidon • Orion vs Killerface45 • The Battle of the Avatar|