Author's Note[]
I posted this so soon after the S1 finale cause I'm bored. I'm bored and not posting finished stuff makes me feel weird. I like posting stuff I've finished. This is finished. As ZONE-Tan said, the season will start in October. Not sure when in October, just sometime in that month when I feel like it. plz no h8 for doing this news blog literally on the day after the finale was posted ;-; I resisted as much as I could but I have issues and like to post things ;-; Plus I wanted to see how all you fgts would react to it. I have issues ;-;
News with ZONE-Tan[]
Dave: This is the month of September, 2015. And you're watching a very special episode of ZTV News! Now for your lovely host, ZONE-Tan!
ZONE-Tan: Hello. I'm ZONE-Tan, and welcome to ZTV News: Your regular source for updates, feedback, and news here on Zone Archives. We're going to start with some letters from the mailbag. As it turns out, all the ones we're going to read today are from one man: Alanomaly. He does a series on the ERB Wiki with rap battles, and sent in these letters so I could help out with announcing his second season, coming this October. If you remember last season, his battles ranged from music to vikings to gods, and now, he's got a whole new array of battles set up for your enjoyment. Let's begin.
[ZONE-Tan picks up the first paper from her desk.]
ZONE-Tan: The first letter says "Dear ZONE-Tan, the first battle of Season 2 is killer. It features all sorts of people from different points in history, one side is not related at all while the other side are completely related, which is how they exist in the first place." Very nicely worded, Alan. I think I've already got some idea as to what this one is.
[ZONE-Tan picks up the second paper.]
ZONE-Tan: "Dear ZONE-Tan, the second battle is being modeled as we speak, and the way it's set up is similar to the way ERB set up their Director Royale." Very, very interesting.
[ZONE-Tan picks up the third paper.]
ZONE-Tan: "Dear ZONE-Tan, the third battle includes you. Your opponent will blow you away." What the fuck does that mean? What do you mean it includes me? Who the fuck did you put me up against, Alan?! [ZONE-Tan turns into her demonic form.] I SWEAR IF YOU FUCKING MAKE ME LOOK LIKE AN ASS IN FRONT OF EVERY-[screen cuts away.]
[The screen cuts back on.]
ZONE-Tan: Sorry about that. Just some technical difficulties. But really, Alan. Don't make me look like an ass in front of everyone when you use me.
Dave: Yeah, she does that enough on her own.
ZONE-Tan: Dave, I swear to God, if you don't shut up, I will take all fifty-one rappers from Alan's first season and shove them all up your dick-hole.
Dave: Jesus, calm down.
ZONE-Tan: [deep breath] Alright. Next one.
[ZONE-Tan picks up the fourth paper.]
ZONE-Tan: "Dear ZONE-Tan, this battle is supernatural. In fact, you could say it comes from a fæble." That's some... interesting choice of characters there. And wording. Anyways, we have one more letter for the second season.
[ZONE-Tan picks up the fifth letter.]
ZONE-Tan: "Dear ZONE-Tan, I'm not going to say much about this one. All I will say is it has rappers from Greece, Russia, the United Kingdom, Romania, and Pannonia." Someone should die. That battle needs death. They should all die. Anyways, he stopped sending letters but he did go on to send objects that are hints to future battles.
[ZONE-Tan picks up a box and empties it onto her desk. Each item has a number on it.]
ZONE-Tan: Each number on the item corresponds to the battle it belongs to. Number 6 is a pair of ruby slippers. If you don't get what that is, you've been doing something wrong your whole life. Number 7 is a Poke-Ball.
[ZONE-Tan looks around, then throws it in the air. A light glows above, off-screen, and a Magikarp falls on ZONE-Tan. She struggles and gets up, kicking it away.]
ZONE-Tan: Goddamnit, Alan. I thought Splash didn't do shit. Anyways... Number 8 is an umbrella with a strange, bird-like handle. Number 9 is a golden ticket. And number 10 is this weird cube. Well, this seems like it might prove to be an interesting season. That was the-
Dave: Um, ZONE-Tan.
ZONE-Tan: What?
Dave: Incoming call from Alanomaly.
ZONE-Tan: Wait, he's calling here?!
[The screen behind ZONE-Tan turns on to a red A with a black backdrop.]
Alanomaly: Hello, ZONE-Tan.
ZONE-Tan: Um, hi. What are you-
Alanomaly: There was an announcement I have to make that I forgot about when I was sending you the stuff. There is a possibility that one battle from Season One to have a sequel. I don't know which, that's for the viewers to decide.
ZONE-Tan: You heard him folks. A Season One battle possibly to have a sequel. Now, Alan-
Alanomaly: I'd love to stay and chat with you and your amazing purple hair, but I've gotta run and write these battles.
ZONE-Tan: But-
Alanomaly: I'll talk to you guys later!
[The screen cuts off.]
ZONE-Tan: Damnit. I was gonna ask him who my opponent is. Ugh. Anyways, that was the month that was here on ZTV. See you next time, and, as always, I'm watching you fap.
[Screen cuts away.]
