Hopefully it's good. The second Bay verse is a bit ehhh to me because at that point I was running on fumes with ZONE-Tan's material.
Also, before we get started with this...
Happy three year anniversary to TK!
Go read TK's three year anniversary blog about three years here before you read this.
You finished reading? Good. Now you can read this.
Today we have the mascot of ZONE-Archives, ZONE-Tan, battling the infamous explosion director, Michael Bay, to see who is better at... ruining childhoods.
Honestly I liked Bay's first Transformers movie.
Anyways, let's get into this.
ALANOMALY RAP BATTLES
Hello, and welcome to our show. We have a not-so-special guest today,
Ruining Transformers and the Ninja Turtles, it's Michael Bay!
Like everything in your movies, your ego's extremely blown up,
You shouldn't even try to beat me, keep your dick holster shut.
Step up to ZONE-Tan and you're sure to feel the Pain,
But unlike the cash from your movies, there's nothing for you to Gain!
Take it from Nimoy, you need to Live Long and Prosper,
The chances of you winning? This battle outta be an Oscar!
Check back with Lucas, maybe you can ruin The Force when it Awakens
But for now, I'm beating you with second degree burns of Kevin Bacon!
That's enough from you, it's onto my favorite part of the show,
Raps reflective of my movies: Action packed with a Tan of explosive ZONEs!
Get ready for a Massacre, cause this is a Rap-ityville on Elm Street of Horror,
Like a Japanese Bumblebee, I'll sting ZONE-Tan like The Island with Pearl Harbor!
We've come to a crossroads, this is where I blow up the scene!
It's the Armageddon of ZONE-Archives, a place even I'd consider obscene!
You'd like to teach the world to fap? Bitch, Megan Fox does that all day!
When I wanna blow up a franchise, she comes running to me like I was her Michael Bae!
This battle is gonna be the death of your porn, so you may as well just Smith your Will!
You've taken so much from Lenny, that I've got just one question for you: Got Milk?
I hereby announce these awards to Mr. Michael Bay:
Worst rapping, picture, director, and screeenplay!
Um, ZONE-Tan, I think you need to see this
(Dave gives ZONE-Tan a piece of paper.)
Huh? Pokemon 2017 by Michael Bay? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!
(ZONE-Tan turns into her demonic form.)
WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? LEAVE MY FELLOW ANIME PEOPLE ALONE!
THOSE ARE MY PEOPLE, PORN HENTAI OR NOT, SO STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY ZONE!
(ZONE-Tan calms down and returns to her normal self.)
I rock the Google Search Interests, while you rock a movie with Dwayne Johnson's nickname,
I end you like a toy train, a disaster like your directing, surrounded in flames.
You've lost this battle, I'll see you later, old chap,
And, as always, I'm watching you fap!
I bring the Miami Heat when I blow up a whore on the mic!
Nicolas Cage you and send you to Alcatraz, you'll for once not wanna drop the soap tonight!
I'm a Bonecrusher who destroys people in my way with such Grace,
Crush anime and make better use of ZONE-Archive's porno flash face!
Call my rhymes NSFW cause Newgrounds will fire you after I win this,
Got a first work of film more notable than your flash game with Kylie Griffin is!
I'll buy material from your website, and take over Z-TV News,
And have Shia LeBeouf yell "JUST DO IT!" when people wanna try to find your leaked nudes.
I break a Caxx in half when I spit Dark like the Side of the Moon
It's no surprise you turned demonic, cause I bring out the worst in cartoons!
ALANOMALY RAP- [the logo explodes in a firey inferno]
- This is the first battle to use someone associated with pornography.
- The screen in ZONE-Tan's background shows the Alanomaly Rap Battles logo.
Hint for the Next Battle
Hint for this Battle Explained
- "ZONE-Tan: "Dear ZONE-Tan, the third battle includes you. Your opponent will blow you away."" "Blow you away" references the fact that Michael Bay is notorious for blowing shit up in his movies.
- Upton vs Monroe had a picture of a purple explosion. Purple references ZONE-Tan, explosion references Michael Bay.