Dovahkiin vs. Lief Erikson
Holy shit Alan's posting battles sooner than later? Yes cykas. I am. I realize the last one was like Sunday but I was excited for this one. Pretty excited. Very fucking excited, I used Skyrim characters, for Ysgramor's sake. Not to mention that I mentioned it in chat and the screw said it should be ok.

Alright. This battle includes Icelandic explorer and viking, Leif Erikson, battling the main character of The Elder Scrolls V: Dovahkiin, along with some back ups.

Also, special thanks to SaiyanChaos for creating the iTunes card god knows how long ago. I don't think he's active much anymore, but still special thanks to him.

Also, I don't have the endslate made yet, so that'll come a bit after this battle is posted.




Erikson Title Card


Dovahkiin Title Card


Leif Erikson

Icelandic legend tells of a man with a voice

That deafens all who hear it, and then no one shall rejoice.

I am the discoverer of Vinland, you discover locations already built.

I'll slice through you and rob you like all the people you killed,

Sell off your goods like a member of the Thieve's Guild,

And wear your armor like Ulfric's cloak or Tulius' kilt!

Bring your magic, bring your swords!

I'll bring my Icelandic hordes!

You rely on Arngeir to find the Power Words!

Lydia comes to carry my burdens, so she's sworn!

I'm the true discoverer of America, the Columbus story is wrong.

I predict your raps shall be gibberish just like your theme song!


(Fus!) I'm Dovahkiin! I leave my enemies in fear!

(Ro!) I'm Dovahkiin! I shout at the sky as it becomes clear!

(Dah!) I'm Dovahkiin! And when the dragons come near,

FUS RO DAH! I absorb their souls as their life essense disappears!

You're only title was stolen, I've got endless different names!

I've definitely got the more viking fame!

I'll slice you up with Wuuthrad, kill your Icelanders like elves!

When it's time to part ways, you'll be killed all by yourself!

I've got a contract given to me by the Night Mother,

Gold for killing a forgotten viking in a Greenland icier than any other!

Leif Erikson

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, just take that arrow to the knee.

You've lost, and by Sithis, you've no chance to defeat me!

You stay within one province, I move through many countries,

Farther west than Markarth, farther south than Falkreath!

Farther north than Winterhold, and March my way to the East!

Whiterun away from this battle while you still have a chance.

The stereotypes of your dragons sure are quite a drag.


You're a pitiful excuse for an explorer, Leif.

I think I'd prefer Erikur and his sister to you, so just leave!

Dovahkiin, Dovakiin, naal ok ziin nos vahriin

Wah kun tum daar wannabe viking!

Rap battles require voice, and I'm a master with my Thu'um!

My rhymes will violate you like I do to dragur tombs!

Leif Erikson

If I'm a pitiful viking, this next man is sure to leave you dead.

Known as the Red, not Ragnar the Red, but Erik the Red!

Erik the Red

There once was a viking named Erik the Red,

The father of Leif fills Dovahkiin with dread!

After my attack, Lucien will adore the glistening crimson

On the fields of white snow, so I think you better listen!

I'm likely the viking you'll be fighting when you go hiking

To Bleak Falls Barrow, I'm the one you consider frightening!

Dangerous like the Labyrinthian, and deadly like your dreaded Falmer.

I'm the embodiment of what to beware when you step in Hornstrandir!


Brave enough to call your father? You're less week than I thought you'd be,

But let me now call up my home girl like her name was Odahviing!

Aela the Huntress

(The white text is where Aela and Dovahkiin rap together.)

You handle yourselves well but you could never be Shield-Brothers,

You milk drinkers are pitiful, poor like no other.

The Circle will slaughter you with our animal insticts,

I've talked to the guards, they say, like a wet dog, you stink!

From what I can see, not even the Skyforge could perfect you.

I've travelled this land so much, that I can tell Dwarven Spheres are less annoying than these two.

When I head home, Dovahkiin will bring about a thunderstorm,

So step off, because Skyrim belongs to the Nords!



Erikson vs Dovahkiin Endslate


[the logo goes flying off]



Who Won?

The poll was created at 14:23 on August 18, 2015, and so far 9 people voted.

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