Not only did it take forever to write, but the cover and title cards took forever to make as well.
Let's get this started.
Here we have the gods Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva of Hinduism battling the gods Ra, Horus, and Anubis of Egyptian faith and mythology.
There's also a seventh person in this battle.
The ending verse might be a bit controversial solely because of who it is and how his verse ends, but please know I don't mean anything legit by it, and it was just for the purposes of this battle.
Also, special thanks to Jude and ROA for helping me with the first Hindu verse, since it was kinda meh and I needed help with it.
Allons- Er, uh... Let my peop- Er... Let's get into it! That's what I was trying to say!
ALANOMALY RAP BATTLES
(Note: Brahma's lyrics are in pink, Vishnu's are in red, Shiva's are in green, Ra's are in orange, Horus' are in purple, and Anubis' are in blue.)
When we are worshipped, we bring many a salvation,
When you animals are worshipped, it brings the fall of a nation
Lyrical cooperation like a Hindu Holy Trinity
We're worshipped by millions, the one true living deity!
You're all poor souls, trapped within a drivel divinity,
And we're running over these animals and their cult of antiquity!
I created this universe, let me tell you in this line
That you all have no chance of winning in the Grand Design.
I'm the destroyer, and destroyed is what this noob is.
A lonely little pup is the true definition of Anubis!
With that eye of yours, we could call you Illuminati's w-Horus!
Only use is to wake up Larry Daley's midnight chorus!
Contrary to Egyptians, it don't all revolve around you, Ra, my man.
You'd be lucky to stand a chance against me, Brahma, man!
I can see it now, there go the pyramids,
Making statues of human faces on the lion bodies of Daniel's den!
By the power of Ra, Anubis, and Horus,
We shall destroy these puny gods who stand before us.
We're three ingenious creatures, you three are all just one loner,
A hierarchy of one being is sure to topple over.
Glowing eyes in the night, I'm Death's jackal-antern,
But even I'm tired of this destroyer's banter.
I rise like the sun in the east for Brahma to bask in my glow,
For your Hinduism words are no match for my hieroglyphic flows.
We know royalty, we hang with King Tutankhamen.
You three need to be censored like Islam's Muhammad!
Let's sum up our opponents in a way that couldn't be exacter:
A hawkward solar flare, a hagraven, and Death's mutated Daxter.
Like your history, this battle between us is purely trivial,
When it comes to both rapping and ruling, you're completely oblivious!
Ra and Horus, I believe I remember something you to were doing,
I had an unpleasant birds-eye view of the two of you fusing!
Your failure shall be immortalized like Anubis' htp sign erection
When I carve it on the walls of the pyramids of the Egyptians!
I've Set in place a motion more destructive than Isis,
When Horus takes a Nap-hthys, he shall be crushed and sent down to Osiris!
You're under-grounded! Remain in your chambers for the night,
Or else not even Ra shall continue see the sun's light!
I never thought I'd see a group as dysfunctional as the American Government.
These Indian souls are without Funk and without Parliament!
You have no power here, not even the minimum godly requirement,
We'll crush all those beneath you and give you our permanent retirement!
Dope rhymes that are so clever and bright, my people call me the Sun,
You rely on the presence of a higher god? Just see who you're looking upon!
I'm a king, of both the Egyptian land and the raps of my team!
I'll carve Vishnu's beating into sandstone and then wipe it clean!
A yoga Yoda man in a toga, an omniscient Yogi Bear!
I may have no role in myths, but here, my role is winning, I swear!
Burn you all like a bush, this is not at all a challenge.
Corner you from all sides and kill you like Zulu savages!
Lords of Egypt, deliver us!
There are dope rhymes you promised us!
I'll severe your heads and hang them up on my wall,
Then wear away the scriptures that are in Egyptian halls!
I shall overthrow you like it was V for Vedänta!
You're mythical, made up stories like Santa!
My rhymes shoot like my lights, ultraviolent!
Once this battle's over, you'll have no choice but to accept it!
I am sworn to protect, so I shall do that for the Hindus!
Your religion is dead, non-existent, see through!
Step into the Nile, get your dick bit off by a catfish!
Oops, I'm sorry, doesn't that mean your gender is switched?
Denial is not just a river in our country, so quit with your flows!
You think you're powerful, you've got a conch and a rose!
You're a pale blue being, like Pee-Wee Herman's genie!
I'll give you the same fate as my father, dismembered with no weenee!
Death's Jackel? Those are not around in Africa!
You're a silly little wolf, and I'm a dog catcher comin after ya!
I'll kill you, and like Moses, bury you under the sand!
You could say I'm skinning you like the leader of the Silver-Hand!
You're in the Smarta religion, so why do you seem so ignorant?
You left behind nothing, our people's creations are significant!
You may be a destroyer, but you winning? Don't be too sure,
For I shall be the one to mummify your corpse.
[Thunder crahses. The sky turns dark, then opens up with a firey blast. A glowing figure comes down to the six gods, revealing to be God himself.]
I send the thunder from the sky, I send the fire raining down,
I send the hail of burning ice on ev'ry field, on ev'ry town!
On the first day, I said let there be light, no mention of Ra!
I am the one true Creator, I recall no Brahma!
I send my scourge, I send my sword!
Men are my creation, let my people go, thus saith the Lord!
I send the swarm, I send the horde!
You are not near my level, thus saith the Lord!
Your pyramids shall be eroded when I bring a flood for forty days!
Come atop the mountains, I shall instruct you with commands! Say,
We could work together, all of you six, with me, to Heaven we shall fly,
While everyone on Earth shall pray to us, up in the sky!
Hindu and Egyptian gods now angels, right here by my side!
The Pearly Gates and Streets of Gold are where we all will reside!
- This is the first story battle of Alanomaly Rap Battles.