Epic Rap Battles of History Wiki
Advertisement

I literally did this as soon as I saw Ash in the Ketchum vs Darwin battle. The guy who repeatedly saves the world from Deadites vs the girl who repeatedly saves the world from zombies. Quite the match up.


EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY![]

Ash Williams VS Jill Valentine![]

BEGIN![]

Jill:[]

Start writing your memoirs, you've gotta grow a spine.

You'll see STARS after facing off against this Valentine!

I'm the queen bee of knowing how to kill a zombie.

You're the wannabe hero from a b-movie horror, try me!

You may be older, but we both know I'm wiser.

You're a wannabe Macgyver who's just a womanizer. 

Rami and you took Dental money without another thought.

You thought you could improve your film by smoking pot.

Ashy Slashy is a freakshow of a molester. 

A bigger pain in my ass than Albert Wesker.

While having to kill all your friends would drive anyone mad.

They turned you into a musical because you were so bad!


Ash:[]

I haven't seen this little emotion since you in the movie.

Let Ash teach you how to rap Jill. Let's get Groovy.

There is no denying Evil Dead is a great flick.

You'll cry mercy when you meet the end of my boomstick.

You got no game, babe, but you sure are attracting.

Your first verse was worse then your game's voice acting!

Cause im infectious on this mic like Uroboros.

It took one man to take out all your special forces.

I got endorsed by King while I took on the Army of Darkness.

If I was looking to battle pussies, I would call up Leon and Chris.

I think you need a Burn Notice from these disses I spit.

I'm saving the world while you ride on Chris' dick.


Jill:[]

My raps burn like zombie bodies, yours are a biohazard.

Don't bother hitting on me, I'm in no way flattered.

Army got delayed 6 months cause of a random lawsuit.

And you were reduced to just a cameo in the reboot. 

Cause all of your past fame is already gone.

Your raps have more bullshit then your Necronomicon.

Got no money left so you build sets on your property.

It's gotta suck to move from the big screen to TV.

You're entire franchise must be hanging by a thread.

I'd say run home to mom, but your whole family's dead!


Ash:[]

Good god girl, yet another verse thats a snorer. 

I'd be more offended if you were even still horror.

Cause I'm more original then you'll ever be.

The newest game of your series think it's P.T.!

Resident Evil is the definition of 'shitty.' 

From your movie franchise to Raccoon City.

Best bring an Umbrella, I'm bringing bullet rain!

Cause now your reign is over, little miss vain. 

I'll shove my chainsaw where the sun don't shine, bitch.

Now go in the kitchen and make me a Jill Sandwich.


WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE.

EPIC RAP BATTLES "Chainsaw noises, blood splatters the logo" OF HISTORY!


Hint for Next Battle: Stolen Ideas, Iconic Faces

ERBIdeas
Season One Link vs Sir LancelotJohn Constantine vs Doctor StrangeGordon Ramsey vs Simon CowellElectro vs Cole MacgrathStarlord vs Boba FettJoker vs Ronald McDonaldNorman Bates vs Dexter MorganWinchester Brothers vs Brothers Grimm • Bruce Banner vs Dr.Jekyll • Robin Hood vs Green Arrow • R.L. Stine vs H.P. Lovecraft • King Joffery vs Draco Malfoy
Season Two JRR Tolkein vs George RR MartinTony Montana vs Vito CorleoneRyu vs ScorpionFreddy Krueger vs Jason VoorheesUltron vs MegatronDracula vs FrankensteinJack Torrance vs Patrick BatemanFrank Underwood vs Raymond ReddingtonLink vs Sir Lancelot 2Blade vs Van HelsingThe Riddler vs The PenguinAtticus Finch vs Saul Goodman
Season Three Tom Hanks vs Leonardo DiCaprioJigsaw Killer vs Zodiac KillerSpawn vs HellboyHamlet vs MacbethChuck E Cheese vs Freddy FazbearHe-Man vs Lion-OElsa vs Sub-ZeroSolid Snake vs Snake EyesThe Babadook vs SlendermanPennywise vs TwistyRod Serling vs The Crypt KeeperMatt Groening vs Seth MacFarlane
Season Four Jesse James vs Billy the Kid • Dorthy vs Alice • Ulysses S Grant vs Robert E Lee • James Moriarty vs Ernst Stavro Blofeld •  Tron vs Neo • Voltron VS Power Rangers • Bach VS Tupac • Captain Planet VS Al Gore • Tiger Woods VS Tony Hawk • Ernest Hemingway VS Robert Frost • Dr.House VS Dr.Cox • Monty Python VS The Marx Brothers
Season Five

Ash Ketchum VS Charles Darwin • Eminem VS Johnny Cash • Steve Urkel VS Arthur Fonzarelli • Astronauts VS Astronomers • Shigeru Miyamoto VS Hayao Miyazaki • M.C. Esher VS Salvador Dali • Freddy Krueger VS Edward Scissorhands • Jack Skellington VS The Grinch • Mother Nature VS Father Time • Captain America VS Uncle Sam • Quicksilver VS Flash • Indiana Jones VS James Bond • One Direction VS the Beatles

Season Six

M. Night Shyamalan VS Tim Burton • Yugi Moto VS King TutJK Rowling vs Stephanie Meyer • Ash Williams vs Jill Valentine • TBA • TBA • TBATBA • TBA • TBA • TBA  • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA  • TBA • TBA  • THE FINAL BATTLE

Advertisement