I can skate better than this church boy turd can!
(Given the fact that both competitors in this battle are skaters, with Tony Hawk being a skateboarder and Wayne Gretzky being an ice skater, Hawk draws the comparison by stating that he is superior in this field, as broad as that is. Gretzky has also been known to be quite adamant to his Christian faith, and Hawk alludes to this fact.)
Not Cash Money, it's just Wayne versus Birdman!
(Rappers Lil Wayne and Bryan "Birdman" Williams have had a long feud that started in 2014 due to Wayne's frustration with Cash Money Records, the record label founded by Birdman and his brother. Hawk notes the similarity between the two rappers in both conflicts—Lil Wayne/Wayne Gretzky against Williams' stage name, Birdman, and Hawk's nickname, The Birdman.)
You got your whole league to protect and adore you,
(Gretzky was one of the most well-known players in the National Hockey League. To commemorate him, each team in the NHL has retired his famous number, 99.)
So which goon's gonna take this battle for you?
(In hockey, a "goon" or "enforcer" is someone who is usually the tough guy that sticks up for his team and gets into more fights rather than scoring.)
(Ooh!) I'm the dude who blew up extreme sports!
(In 1995, Hawk competed in the first X Games, an annual sports event which focuses on extreme sports. He soon became one of the best-known skateboarders in the world.)
That nose looks like you've seen some extreme snorts!
(Piggy-backing off the phrase "extreme sports," Hawk mocks Gretzky's sizable nose. He may also infer that Gretzky's collapsed nose might have been the result of excessively snorting cocaine and other drugs.)
I mean, look at that thing! That slope is gigantic!
(Hawk makes fun of Gretzky's nose, saying it's really steep.)
Even I wouldn't fly off a ramp that titanic!
(Hawk continues to taunt Gretzky's nose size by comparing it to a ramp that one would perform skating tricks off of, saying he wouldn't even try to skate on that "ramp" because it's too steep to skate.)
And all the ice underneath you will get melted into water
(Hockey is played on ice, and Hawk says that the ice Gretzky plays on will melt.)
When I hit you with a trick that's even hotter than your daughter!
(Gretzky's daughter, Paulina Gretzky, is an actress, singer, and model who is considered attractive, or "hot", by many observers. Skateboarding maneuvers are often called "tricks", as are women in sex work. Hawk, however, says he will beat Gretzky with his raps.)
You're old and you're basic; your talent is faded!
(Gretzky is seven years older than Hawk and has retired from his sport, while Hawk is still active in his skating career.)
And Oiler alert: you're about to get traded!
(Gretzky was best known for being captain of the Edmonton Oilers in the NHL. However, fans were shocked when the franchise revealed he was traded to the Los Angeles Kings in 1988. It is also wordplay on the phrase "spoiler alert".)
I drop rhymes like I'm dropping into a half-pipe!
(Hawk says he rhymes as fast as he drops into half-pipes: typical structures used in extreme sports such as skateboarding.)
I'll thrash this asswipe, hit you like a hash pipe!
(Hawk claims that he will beat Gretzky, an "asswipe", by hitting him as hard as he smokes hash, or cannabis. It is a common stereotype that skaters are always stoned, due to their chill nature.)
(Uh!) Keep your mittens on, Gretzky; you're too clean!
(Gretzky was renowned for being a non-violent player, opposed to resorting to dirty tricks and rough play (including physical fighting) to gain an advantage. Hawk tells Gretzky not to bother joining this fight by keeping his "mittens" on, as players will usually remove their gloves before a fight.)
I got this covered like gravy on poutine!
(Poutine is a French-Canadian dish made with fries, cheese curds, gravy and more. As Gretzky is Canadian, Hawk says that he has this battle "covered"—that is to say he will win it easily—just like the gravy on a poutine.)
That verse was rough! Damn, Tony!
(Gretzky starts by criticizing Hawk's verse, saying it is definitely not his best work. The way "That verse was rough!" is said mimics the style of a sports announcer commenting on an athlete's performance.)
So let me smooth it out like I'm a damn Zamboni!
(Zamboni is a popular brand of ice resurfacers—machines that are used to smooth and clean ice in an ice skating rink, as well as a general term for an ice resurfacer. Gretzky says he will smooth out Hawk's rap like a Zamboni smooths ice.)
(Eyy!) I'm the greatest ever when I play hockey,
(Gretzky earned the nickname "The Great One" for his varied skills in ice hockey.)
But on the microphone, I don't play, Hawkey!
(Gretzky says that he may play hockey, but when he raps, he doesn't mess around. He also calls Tony Hawk "Hawkey" as a nickname to his last name, Hawk.)
It's a street fight, T. Hawk! Show some respect!
(Gretzky notes the similarity between Hawk's name and T. Hawk, a character from the Street Fighter video game franchise and tells him to be more well-mannered in this battle.)
If you don't, then you'll catch a slap shot to the deck!
(A slap shot is the hardest shot in hockey one can perform, usually when shooting for the net. The deck of a skateboard is the flat part the person stands on. "Deck" may be used here as a pun on the word "dick" as it is likely that one may get hit in the crotch by a puck if they are unprotected.)
And I take a Flyer down, Bird; you're getting wrecked,
(Gretzky may be making a reference to the "Broad Street Bullies" of the Philadelphia Flyers, a very strong team in Gretzky's time. However, Gretzky's Edmonton Oilers defeated the Flyers to win the Stanley Cup in 1985 and 1987. Again making a play on Hawk's "Birdman" moniker, Gretzky says he can take Hawk down as if he was hunting real birds or facing his hockey rivals.)
So you best prepare for arrival and cross-check!
(This pun refers to procedures involved in airline flights (playing off the previous line, the term "flyer" referring to airplane passengers): arrival (parking at the gate) and cross-checking (verifying the security of all exit locations prior to takeoff and landing). Cross-checking is also an illegal check (hit) in ice hockey that results in a two-minute penalty to the player making the hit. Gretzky, in effect, says that as he "takes [Hawk] down", Hawk should expect a rough landing.)
(Hey!) Let me tell you what putting a puck in the net's worth:
(Gretzky enlightens Hawk on how much you can reap out of a lifetime hockey career.)
Double what you've banked in bucks! Check my net worth,
(As of right now Gretzky's net worth is $200 million while Hawk's only comes up as $120 million, leaving Gretzky with nearly double the amount.)
And my hot wife, the only woman in the world for Wayne!
(Janet Jones is Gretzky's wife since 1988, and he says he wouldn't change her for anybody while complimenting her looks. This may also be a small reference to the film Wayne's World.)
You're on your fourth wife; talk about the X Games!
(Hawk has had four wives: Catherine Goodman, Lhotse Merriam, Erin Lee, and Cindy Dunbar. Gretzky makes a word play on the term ex-wife, a wife that was divorced, and the X Games, an annual sports event Hawk is a part of.)
There was one big trick that you ever did,
(On June 27th, 1999, Hawk set a world record by being the first skater to perform a 900, a 2½-revolution (900 degrees) aerial spin performed on a skateboard ramp as the skater makes a two-and-a-half turns about their longitudinal axis, thereby facing down when coming down.)
Then you got out-spun by a 12-year-old kid!
(Gretzky continues his last line by saying Hawk's record has been beaten. Tom Schaar, who was 12 at the time, beat his record in March 2012 by performing the first 1080, one more spin faster than a 900. Gretzky calls Hawk weak for having his record lost to a child.)
Oh, you like fingerflips? How about one of these?
(Fingerflips are a group of skateboarding tricks involving the board being flipped with the fingers. Gretzky says that if Hawk likes to perform finger flips, he would like a "finger flip", a reference to flipping the middle finger, an insult in American culture.)
Sit on this and rotate 900 degrees!
(Gretzky flips Hawk the middle finger and telling him to sit on it and do a 900 degree rotation, Hawk's best trick as previously referred to.)
Great One, Wayne! Let me say something, Wayne!
(Due to his many achievements, Gretzky has earned the nickname, "The Great One". Hawk uses Gretzky's nickname to sarcastically compliment his diss before stepping in with something to say back against him.)
I got 99 problems, and you ain't one, Wayne!
(Double reference: For most of his career, Gretzky wore jersey number 99. Hawk also references Jay Z's song "99 Problems", which features the chorus hook "I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one." In doing so, Hawk states that he has many complex personal issues to deal with, but rapping against Gretzky isn't an issue for him.)
You'll catch a pop shove-it to the mullet if you tempt me!
(The pop shove-it is a trick which combines an ollie with a shove it, popping up the board as it spins 180 in the air while you hover above it without spinning. Tony says if he tempt him, Gretzky will get hurt.)
Your threats are like my swimming pools, bruh: empty!
(Tony Hawk owns an empty swimming pool in his backyard which he uses as his own private skatepark. Hawk says Gretzky's threats are also empty, meaning they have no effect.)
Let's skip the kickflips and McTwists!
(Kickflips and McTwists are two different tricks one can perform on a skateboard.)
You'll be speechless after 3 periods like an ellipsis!
(A professional ice hockey match is divided into three 20-minute segments called "periods", after which the team scoring the most goals wins. In terms of the rap, however, Gretzky says that after his three verses, Hawk will be left speechless. An ellipsis is a sequence of three periods (...) often used in writing to indicate a lack of speech or a pause in the writer's thought.)
This goofy-footed geek's straight getting smoked!
(Hawk often rode his skateboard with a "goofy foot", skateboarder slang meaning that his left foot was always positioned toward the tail of the board. Nonetheless, Gretzky says Hawk is just a nerd getting burned by his raps.)
Got you down on your knee pads! Sorry about the deke joke!
(Skateboarders usually wear knee pads as protective gear. Gretzky says he has Hawk on his knees ready to perform fellatio on him. A deke is a hockey technique which involves a deceptive movement or feint that induces an opponent to move out of position, but Gretzky uses it as a pun on the word "dick". Gretzky, albeit sarcastically, apologizes to Hawk for the joke. This is a reference to the stereotype that Canadians are often meek and non confrontational.)
Man, you should hit the buzzer 'cause it's time to change lines!
(In ice hockey, depending on the plays called, or as players become stressed or fatigued, they or their coaches can call for a "line change" to swap for fresh players while the others are given rest. Here, Hawk calls Gretzky's raps old and tired, saying he should try something different in order to continue rapping.)
You put that joke in the top shelf of lame rhymes!
(Hawk again continues to assault Gretzky with another hockey pun, as "to go top shelf" is to make a scoring shot over the shoulders of the goaltender and toward the top of the net. Hawk further calls Gretzky's raps "lame", or boring.)
This ain't typical sports; I use centripetal force
(Most popular sports, including hockey, feature a team attempting to put an object into a location guarded by the other team. Hawk belittles this concept as typical or average, while he takes part in a more performance-based and creative sport. The complexities of skateboarding can mostly be explained with the concept of centripetal forces, mechanical forces that attract outer masses to a central point, which help keep the skateboard at the skateboarder's body.)
While you prance around in 4-pound icy diaper shorts!
(Ice hockey players wear heavily-padded pants to maintain body temperature as well as to guard the midsection of the body and the upper legs against fast-moving pucks. Hawk equates these pants to diaper shorts, as they are bulky and can be difficult to move around in as opposed to the street clothing skateboarders wear.)
I try to watch you on TV, but I can't see the puck!
(Ice hockey is a televised sport in the countries where it is frequently played; but even so, coverage is filmed with a wide-angle camera. As such, it can be difficult to spot the puck as it moves across the ice. Further complicating matters, ice hockey players move fast as they play, forcing camera operators to pan quickly from one end of the arena to the other; and the puck is only about 2" in diameter. Hawk finds watching the sport frustrating as a result.)
Hockey used to have guts, but now the teams Mighty Suck!
(Hawk continues by explaining that he thinks hockey used to be a rough and exciting sport, but after a while, it became boring due to the teams in the league. This is also a reference to the film franchise, The Mighty Ducks, which focuses on a fictional hockey team. The success of the trilogy also paved way for the creation of the real-life team, the Anaheim Ducks.)
I tell kids around the world that there's nothing they can't do!
(Hawk tells Gretzky that he inspires kids to have the courage to skate by telling them they can do anything.)
Put more souls into skating than some Vans shoes!
(Hawk says he is inspiring more people or "souls" to skate than Vans shoes, even since Vans is marketed to skaters. The line also makes a pun on the homophones "souls" and "soles", soul being a person and sole being the bottom of a shoe.)
Timeout! Let's talk about athletic achievements!
(A timeout during a sporting event is a break for both competing parties to rest. Gretzky calls for a timeout so he can acknowledge the achievements of both himself and Hawk.)
You and I have so many world records between us!
(Gretzky admits that the two of them both have a large amount of world records when combined together in amount, said amount stated in the next line.)
184! That's plenty of 'em,
(Both Hawk and Gretzky combined have 184 world records.)
And I've set 183 of 'em!
(However, Gretzky shows Hawk that he only has one, which is being the first to do a 900, while he set the rest of these records during his whole career.)
Undisputed, unrefuted! G-O-A-T!
(Gretzky asserts his uncontested claim to the arbitrary title of "GOAT", or Greatest of All Time. Indeed, many of the records he set over his 20-plus-year ice hockey career still stand today.)
You've been going downhill since Pro Skater 3!
(Gretzky says that Hawk's game franchise, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, has gone downhill since Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3, as it has been the most critically acclaimed game in the series, earning almost if not perfect scores in some critics' eyes. However, the games followed have not lived up to it, especially Pro Skater 5, which has been called one of the worst games in the franchise. This could also be a reference to Tony Hawk's Downhill Jam, a game that would eventually follow the third installment in the franchise.)
(Ooh!) And I'm too far ahead for you to catch up!
(Many of the records Gretzky set are at wide margins compared to the next closest player, making it unlikely that they will be broken by any player in the near future. Gretzky compares these wide leads to his rap battle with Hawk, telling him that he cannot catch up with him this late in the rap.)
For true sports fans, this was finished as soon as they heard the matchup!
(Gretzky says that when people heard who was participating in the battle, they would have found it obvious that Wayne would be the winner.)
You're a pro on the ice, but a rookie when rappin'!
(Hawk admits Gretzky is a great hockey player, but says has no experience when it comes to rapping.)
Now I see why the Rangers demoted this captain!
(The New York Rangers took away Gretzky's captain role in 1997.)
Hold up, let me check the stat book,
(Gretzky checks up on the stats of Hawk's raps, finding out that...)
You just missed 100% of the shots that you took!
(...every diss he made missed Gretzky. This is a pun on hockey shots and rap shots, or disses, and also references Gretzky's quote, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.")
I don't care if this bird gets the biggest air around
(An air is an aerial trick usually performed on half-pipes or anywhere where there is a vertical wall with a transition available. A bird flies in the air, so Gretzky makes a pun on Hawk's nickname, Birdman, to say he doesn't care about his air tricks.)
I'm a champion when it comes to putting Flyers underground!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "And I take a Flyer down, Bird; you're getting wrecked." Gretzky references the Hawk game, Tony Hawk's Underground, saying he can put Hawk underground like he defeated the Flyers, once again making a pun on birds flying.)
You became a sellout in your retirement years!
(Gretzky claims Hawk became influenced by money and personal advancement as he got older.)
Got milk, Hawk? I've got 4 cups for you right here!
(Got Milk? is an American advertising campaign encouraging the consumption of cow's milk. Gretzky has won four Stanley Cups with the Edmonton Oilers, making a pun on cups of milk by saying he has four trophy cups.)
Guess what putting a puck in the net's worth:
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "(Hey!) Let me tell you what putting a puck in the net's worth:")
Double what you stack up in bucks, check my net worth!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Double what you've banked in bucks! Check my net worth.")
Double the girth of your purse, check my net worth!
(See "Double what you stack up in bucks, check my net worth!")
200K per goal, that's my net worth!
(See "Double what you stack up in bucks, check my net worth!" Gretzky has scored 1,016 goals and is worth $200 million, meaning he earns $197,000 per goal.)