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This article is about the Norse god. For the cinematographer who worked on Deadpool vs Boba Fett and Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton, see Thor Wixom.
Thor

Thor Title Card

Marvel Thor


A Lego Minifigure as Thor
Character information
Full name Thor Odinson
Nickname(s) Norse God of Thunder
Lord of Asgard
Wielder of Mjölnir
The Lightning-Giver
Thorlief Golmen
Dr. Donald Blake
First appearance August 1962 (Marvel version)
Journey into Mystery #83
Born Asgard (mythological version)
Norway (Marvel version)
Physical description
Hair Red (mythological version)
Blond (Marvel version)
Eyes Blue
Based on

Thor Based On

Marvel Thor Based On

Rap battle information
Appeared in Zeus vs Thor
Vs Zeus
Release date November 24, 2014
Votes on website 77%
Location(s) Asgard
Thor's Viking ship
Valhalla
I don't get nice; I get Norse!
— Thor

Thor battled Zeus in Zeus vs Thor. He was portrayed by a Lego Minifigure and was voiced by EpicLLOYD.

Information on the rapper

Thor is the Norse god of thunder and lightning. He is the son of Odin and brother to Loki, and was one of the most powerful gods. In Norse mythology, Thor was usually portrayed as a large, powerful man with a red hair, red beard, and fierce-eyes. Despite his ferocious appearance, he was a protector of both gods and humans against all forces of evil. Thor wields the mountain-crushing hammer, Mjölnir, wears the belt, Megingjörð, the iron gloves, Járngreipr, and owns the staff, Gríðarvölr.

In the Marvel Cinematic Universe, he is shown as a clueless alien dropped into Earth's society, with little idea as to how the human world works. He frequently stands alongside the Avengers to defend the people of Midgard (Earth), often against the schemes of his adopted brother, Loki. He formerly dwelt in a recreation of Asgard in Oklahoma.

Lyrics

[Note: Thor is in gold, Loki and Cerberus are in regular text.]

Verse 1:

Allow Thor to retort, you shape-shifting rapist,

And get a taste of this Scandinavian greatness

Brought forth by my raging thunderstorm force

'Cause I don't get nice; I get Norse! (Noirse!)

Valhalla-atcha boy and we'll flyte it out,

But keep your Asgard up; I Ragnarök the house!

You tongue kiss your sister! That's grosser than a Gorgon!

I'm the thunder down under, nailing Natalie Portman!

Who would ever worship someone as abusive as Zeus is?

You're ruthless to humans! Your crew is like the clash of the douches

Ruling over the Greeks: a people weak and frightened!

I'd spit in your face, but you'd probably like it!

Verse 2:

Rain, old man? This is hardly a drizzle.

You couldn't give the women in my homeland the sniffles.

You can keep your astronomers. I'll sail with the conquerors

For thousands of kilometers, discovering the continents!

I'm alpha dog dominant! You can't beat me!

I will drop you like Greece's GDP!

Send you deeper underground than the depths of your Hades!

Now, make like your daddy and swallow my babies!

Verse 3:

Your glory days are over. The Oracle shoulda told'ya.

I'll kick your wrinkly dick back in your toga like "Opa!"

Here, take these drachma for your eyes.

When you get to River Styx, tell your three-headed bitch I say "hi." (Woof!)

Scrapped lyrics

You've never been to war with the likes of Thor before!

The Oracle should have warned you of the blood and gore!


You tongue kiss your sister and consort with Gorgons!


You're ruthless to humans, I'm pooching on this God of the douches,

And when we're through with this your hubris will send you to Hades!

So make like your daddy and swallow my babies.


You look miserable, old, and fat.

And you grope so many maids you surely have the thunderclap!

It's the swan song for your bullshit, with Leda and Europa!

You shape-shifting rapist, keep your dick inside your toga!

It's over, I'll smash you like an ogre!

Thor's a mighty soldier, you're a poor carbon copy, only older.


I'm a stone cut stud like I stared down a Gorgon,

Got the thunder down under nailing Natalie Portman!


You're ruthless to humans, the truth is you're God of douches!

Trivia

General

  • Thor is the third rapper to appear without a body actor, after HAL 9000 and Zeus.
  • He is the first rapper to be based on two incarnations: Norse mythology and Marvel Comics.
  • He is the fourth rapper to change forms.
    • He is also the first to change back, as his shift to his Marvel version was only used for one line.
  • He was originally going to rap first.
  • According to a July 2nd, 2015 Periscope broadcast, Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time almost portrayed Thor before they decided upon using Lego Minifigures.

Norse version

  • He is the second deity to rap, after Zeus.

Marvel version

  • He is the fourth superhero to rap.
    • He is the first Marvel superhero to rap.
  • He is the tenth comic book character to rap.

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