Information on the rapper
Romeo Montague was created by William Shakespeare in his play, Romeo and Juliet. He is the son of the House of Montague, a political faction of Italy. Originally pining after a girl named Rosaline, he falls in love with Juliet Capulet – of the rival House of Capulet faction – at a masquerade party. He later kills Juliet's cousin, Tybalt, after Tybalt kills Romeo's close friend, Mercutio. For this, Romeo is banished from Verona by Mercutio's cousin, Prince Escalus. He returns when he hears that Juliet has passed, although she is feigning death to avoid arranged marriage. He then kills Paris, Juliet's suitor and to-be husband, and drinks poison over her "dead" body. The lovers' deaths teach both their families a harsh lesson which results in the end of their feud.
[Note: Romeo is in blue, while Juliet is in regular text.]
My love, your face is beauty to behold.
I will protect thine honor from these dust bowl dildos!
A moment's break from your gaze is an eternity past,
So together, we shall both put these bitches on blast!
En garde, thou artless beetle-headed flax wench!
The only insult you have thrust upon me is thine stench!
Why don't you twist upon these nuts? I hear you're good with a wrench!
The dismal state of your raps should be a federal offense!
(Haha!) And you there, wench with the neck of a chicken,
You'll get an ass-rippin' worse than your boyfriend's in prison!
You're not a true romance. You're just a conjugal visit.
Oh, but that's not even your real husband now, is it?
Do you quarrel, sir? Ho, shall I draw my long sword?
Or will you duck your chicken-shit ass back into your Ford?
No, no, my Romeo will beat your beau in contest blow for blow.
He will do upon thine dick what you hath done upon your toe!
[Bonnie Parker shoots Juliet.]
Oh, I am killed! What irony is this?
The lead role shot down by a failed actress…
Then I shall kill myself! On my stomach I shall lie,
So you louts can lick my ass! Thus, with a dis, I die…
Oops, never mind. My flesh was merely grazed.
Where's Romeo? Oh Nomeo! There's poison on your face!
Oh, happy dagger, pierce me true. Persuade my breath to stop!
Sheathe yourself inside my heart, and like the beat, I drop…
- Montague is the sixth character to die in-battle.
- He is the first character, however, to commit suicide.
- He, alongside Juliet Capulet, is the third/fourth work whose creator is portrayed in another ERB, after Gandalf and HAL 9000.
- He was mentioned by William Shakespeare's ERB bio.