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Romeo & Juliet

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Romeo & Juliet
Romeo & Juliet Title Card
Nice Peter and Grace Helbig as Romeo & Juliet
Character information
Full name Romeo Montague
Juliet Capulet
Nickname(s) Shakespearean Lovers
Star-Crossed Lovers
First appearance c. 1595
Romeo and Juliet
Physical description
Hair Blond (both)
Eyes Blue (both)
Based on
Romeo & Juliet Based On
Rap battle information
Appeared in Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde
Vs Bonnie & Clyde
Release date November 17, 2014
Votes on website 47%
Location(s) The Capulet Mansion courtyard
Together, we shall both put these bitches on blast!
— Juliet Capulet to Romeo Montague

Romeo & Juliet are a couple, consisting of Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet, who battled Bonnie & Clyde in Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde. They were portrayed by Nice Peter and Grace Helbig, respectively.

Information on the rappers

Romeo and Juliet were created by William Shakespeare in his play, Romeo and Juliet. As their parents become entangled in a blood feud over a trivial matter, the two teenagers fall in love, but are forbidden to see one another, and attempts are made to keep them apart at all cost, going so far as to select different suitors for each. This, however, only increases their angst and longing, each for the other. The feud rages on, but the pair is left to elope, defying both clans. Their joint deception is quickly uncovered, and Romeo and Juliet are separated. To get out of her engagement to another man and stay with Romeo, Juliet drinks a potion to put herself into a death-like state. When Romeo finds out about her "death," he mourns over her body and drinks some lethal poison, committing suicide. When Juliet wakes up and sees Romeo's lifeless body, she takes a nearby knife and kills herself. After the two families find them both dead the next morning, they mourn over the young lovers and end their feud.

Lyrics

[Note: Romeo Montague is in blue, while Juliet Capulet is in light blue.]

Verse 1:

My love, your face is beauty to behold.

I will protect thine honor from these dust bowl dildos!

A moment's break from your gaze is an eternity past,

So together, we shall both put these bitches on blast!

En garde, thou artless beetle-headed flax wench!

The only insult you have thrust upon me is thine stench!

Why don't you twist upon these nuts? I hear you're good with a wrench!

The dismal state of your raps should be a federal offense!

(Haha!) And you there, wench with the neck of a chicken,

You'll get an ass-rippin' worse than your boyfriend's in prison!

You're not a true romance. You're just a conjugal visit.

Oh, but that's not even your real husband now, is it?

Verse 2:

Do you quarrel, sir? Ho, shall I draw my long sword?

Or will you duck your chicken-shit ass back into your Ford?

Verse 3:

No, no, my Romeo will beat your beau in contest blow for blow.

He will do upon thine dick what you hath done upon your toe!

[Bonnie Parker shoots Juliet.]

Oh, I am killed! What irony is this?

The lead role shot down by a failed actress…

Then I shall kill myself! On my stomach I shall lie,

So you louts can lick my ass! Thus, with a dis, I die…

Oops, never mind. My flesh was merely grazed.

Where's Romeo? Oh Nomeo! There's poison on your face!

Oh, happy dagger, pierce me true. Persuade my breath to stop!

Sheathe yourself inside my heart, and like the beat, I drop…

Trivia

  • Romeo & Juliet are the fifth and sixth rappers to die in-battle.
    • They are the first duo to die, and the first and second rappers to commit suicide.
  • They are the third work whose creator is portrayed in another ERB, after Gandalf and HAL 9000.
    • They are the first work to appear in a battle after their creator.
  • They are the second duo to rap that consists of a male and a female, after Bonnie & Clyde.
  • They are the first titled team to not rap simultaneously.

Gallery

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