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Rasputin vs Stalin

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Season 2
NP icon
EL icon
Rasputin vs Stalin
Stalin rasuptin
Battle Information
Release Date April 22, 2013
Number 33
Views 37,000,000+ (as of Apr 13)
Length 3:38
Timeline
Previous Mozart vs Skrillex
Next Darth Vader vs Adolf Hitler 3
Other Information
Actors Nice Peter
EpicLLOYD
PewDiePie
Rappers Pete as Rasputin Lloyd as Stalin Pete as Lenin Lloyd as Gorbachev Pete as Putin
Cameos Mikhail Baryshnikov
Location(s) Moscow State University
Try messing with the mad monk, you'll be sorry, yo!
— Rasputin
Rasputin vs Stalin is the thirty-third installment of the Epic Rap Battles of History series and the final episode of Season 2. It features RasputinJoseph StalinVladimir LeninMikhail Gorbachev and Vladimir Putin in a Russian battle royale. It was released on April 22, 2013.

Cast

Nice Peter as RasputinVladimir Lenin, and Vladimir Putin

EpicLLOYD as Joseph Stalin and Mikhail Gorbachev

PewDiePie as Mikhail Baryshnikov (cameo)

Lyrics

Rasputin:

Cool mustache, Wario.

Try messing with the mad monk, you'll be sorry, yo!

How many dictators does it take,

To turn an empire into a union of ruinous states?

It's a disgrace what you did to your own people!

Yo daddy beat you like a dog and now you're evil!

You're from Georgia, sweet Georgia,

And history books unfold ya,

As a messed up mutha fucka bent in the mind,

Who built a superpower, but he paid the price,

With the endless destruction of Russian lives!

If you're the man of steel, I spit kryptonite!

Big dick mystic, known to hypnotize!

I can end you with a whisper to your wife.

Stalin:

Look into my eyes, you perverted witch!

See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch!

You think I give a fuck about my wife?

My own son got locked up in prison, and I didn't save his life!

You got off easy when they pickled that moose cock!

I'd leave your neck in a noose in a trench and shot!

Your whole family, shot! All your wizard friends, shot!

Anyone who sold you pierogi, shot!

Starve you for days till you waste away.

I even crushed motherfuckers when I'm laid in state.

Pride of Lenin, took Trotsky out of the picture.

Drop the hammer on you harder than I bitch slapped Hitler!

Lenin:

I have no pride for you who ruined everything

My revolution was doing to stop the bourgeoisie!

I fought the bondage of classes. The proletariat masses

Have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses!

Let me start with you there, Frankenstein!

Looking like something out of R.L. Stine.

It's hip-hop chowder, red over white,

Cause the Tsar's wife can't do shit tonight!

And Joseph, you were supposed to be my right-hand man,

But your loyalty shriveled up like your right hand, man!

Our whole future was bright, you let your heart grow dark,

And stopped the greatest revolution since the birth of Marx!

Gorbachev:

Knock knock knock knock.

Did somebody say birthmarks?

Yo, I'm the host with the most glasnost!

Assholes made a mess and the war got cold.

Shook hands with both Ronalds, Reagan and McDonald's, no doubt.

If your name end with "in", time to get out!

I have the balls to let Baryshnikov dance, playa!

Tore down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man, oh yeah!

You two need yoga (Дa). You need a shower (Дa).

And you all need to learn how to handle real power!

Putin:

Did somebody say real power?

Дa, you want to mess with me?

I spit hot borscht when I'm crushing these beats.

Blow it up like a tuba, while I'm balling in Cuba.

Doing judo moves and schooling every Communist сука.

I'm a president in my prime. My enemies don't distract me.

The last man who attacked me lived a half-life so comrade, come at me!

You don't know what you're doing when you try to bust a rhyme against a mind like Putin.

You'll find that the ex-KGB is the best MC in the ex-CCCP!

Poll

Who Won?
 
81
 
222
 
115
 
89
 
102
 

The poll was created at 15:03 on February 19, 2014, and so far 609 people voted.

Trivia

  • Like Dr. Seuss vs William ShakespeareMoses vs Santa Claus, and Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge, this battle features 5 rappers.
    • This battle, however, is the only battle where each of the 5 rappers only has one verse each.
  • The reasoning behind this battle is to redeem Peter from Vladimir Putin's "quote" saying he'd kill Peter with his hands if Season 2 did not feature a Russian rapper.
  • This is the fourth battle where an actor plays more than one rapper (not counting cameos).
  • This is the third battle to have a third (or fourth and fifth for that matter) person to enter the battle but not be on another rapper's side.
  • This is the second battle where each rapper has one verse.
  • This is the second battle where the announcer doesn't say "Who won? Who's next? You decide!" at the end. The first was Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD.
    • Both of them being finales is probably why.
  • This is the first battle where someone raps against themselves as a different character.
  • This is the second battle to have 5 different backgrounds, the first being Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates.
  • This is the second battle where 2 contestants share the same name, with Vladimir Lenin and Vladimir Putin, as well as Mikhail Gorbachev and Mikhail Baryshnikov. The first one is Napoleon vs Napoleon.

Related videos

Start a Discussion Discussions about Rasputin vs Stalin

  • Additional trivia

    22 messages
    • He's talking about Rasputin vs Stalin.  There were several Russian words from Putin.
    • I think he means non-English characters (letters)
  • ERBOH: #33

    3 messages
    • ...Or you can just say that on the Epic Rap Battles of History 33 page.
    • Sorry about that, I am just behind on this new technology, ;)
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