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ERBoH27Meaning

Santa Claus:

Sweet robes, Obi, Wan-too-many days in the sun?

(Santa jabs at Moses resembling Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars since he wears robes in the same manner as him. Moses' skin was dark from leading the Israelites in the hot desert for years with robes on, so Santa says he's been one too many days in the sun, replacing "one" with "Wan", as in Obi-Wan.)

Stop preaching, homie. Teach your flock to covet some fun!

(A play on one of the ten Commandments, "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." Santa says Moses is too uptight trying to administer God's law and that he should teach the Jews to chill out and want some fun instead so they'll be happier for it. "Flock" could also be a reference to Moses being a shepherd before his mission from God.)

I bring joy every year. Man, I represent cheer!

(Santa brings presents for kids once a year and represents most kids' favorite holiday, Christmas.)

You represent sandals and a scraggly beard!

(According to Santa, Moses appears to symbolize the look of a homeless man.)

I'm from the North Pole. That's why my rhymes are so cold!

(Santa Claus lives at the North Pole, a frosty, cold area which Santa says is a reason for his "cold" rhymes. A cold phrase generally refers to a phrase or rhyme that is cruel.)

I spit diamonds, but I'm serving up some fresh coal!

(Santa gives coal instead of gifts to naughty kids, implying that Moses is naughty. One of the legends around Santa says that he has the ability to make snow by spitting diamonds, the hardest substance on earth, so he also means that his raps hit hard. It is widely believed (though not true) that coal can turn into diamonds. )

You've been a naughty boy. You brought a plague of frogs.

(Santa claims that Moses has been naughty, meaning he won't be getting any gifts for Christmas this year. The second of ten plagues brought upon Egypt by God through Moses was millions of frogs emerging from the Nile.)

You'd best arrest yourself; you broke your own law!

(Moses literally broke the first Tablets of Stone containing the Ten Commandments when he was enraged by the sight of the Children of Israel worshipping a Golden Calf (the act of worshiping other gods is also forbidden in the Ten Commandments). Because of this, Santa claims he had best turn himself in, as long-suffering was salvation according the Bible. Moses was also said to have violated a commandment, which was mentioned in the next line.)

Or was there something in rule six I didn't understand?

(The Sixth Commandment for Jews and Protestants and the Fifth commandment for Catholics is a prohibition against unlawful killing (it is translated to English as "Thou shalt not kill" in the King James English translation Bible). Santa Claus wonders if he had somehow misinterpreted something about this commandment because...)

My list says, "Killed Egyptian dude, buried him in sand."

(...according to the Book of Exodus, Moses killed an Egyptian to save a Jewish slave from being insulted and mistreated and fled away from Egypt to Midian to avoid capture by the Pharaoh. Santa Claus keeps a "nice" and "naughty" list to keep track of who's been good and bad, as well as show what bad things they have done. Since Moses had apparently violated the commandment against killing by killing the Egyptian, Santa has him listed on his naughty list.)

I read your book. You got a strict religion.

(Santa has read the Holy Scriptures of Moses's religion, Judaism, and he is stunned by how strict they are most especially...)

No bacon? But mandatory circumcision?

(...how Jewish law states both that only ruminants with cloven hooves (which means food products made from pigs, which are ritually impure since they have cloven hooves but do not ruminate, like bacon are prohibited) are permissible to be eaten and all Jewish males who practice the faith are required to be circumcised (have the foreskin of their penis removed) eight days after birth. The practice of circumcision has also been criticized in more recent times as being unethical because it is done without the consent of the infant being circumcised.)

I'm a jolly bowl a jelly, giving holiday presents,

(Santa Claus is often depicted as a jovial man with a large belly. In the long poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas" (or "'Twas the Night Before Christmas"), the author describes Santa Claus as follows: "He had a broad face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly." Additionally, Santa gives presents every year on Christmas Eve.)

But all the chosen people ever get for Christmas is jealous!

(A pot-shot at the Jews, the "chosen people" who, coincidentally, observe Hanukkah for eight nights, often concurrently with Christmas. Christmas is accorded great significance in Christianity, in contrast to Hanukkah which is considered a minor holiday for most Jews. Santa says that Jews are envious because Christmas is more popular, accorded more importance, longer (as some cultures celebrate Christmas for 12 days after), and brings more gifts. )

Moses:

When I was high up on the mountain, God revealed the truths of the Earth,

(According to a traditional belief among Jews and Christians, known as Mosaic authorship, the Torah was revealed by God to Moses while he was on Mount Sinai for forty days and nights (Rabbinic Judaism also teaches that not all of the laws revealed to Moses on Mount Sinai were written down in the Written Torah and that some were passed down orally for generations (the Oral Torah) before being codified in what became the Talmud between 200 and 500 CE). "High", aside from meaning great in altitude (Mount Sinai is 2,285 m tall) can also mean under the influence of drugs and Moses is seen smoking when he starts this line. This line, alongside Moses' smoking before he starts, is a reference to both his actor, Snoop Dogg, being known for his frequent smoking of cannabis and a theory proposed by the Israeli professor Benny Shanon that Moses was high on psychedelic drugs both when he saw God in the Burning Bush and when he was on Mount Sinai. )

But he never mentioned a fat-ass Papa Smurf.

(Moses was never told about Santa (mostly because he was said to have lived in the Late Bronze Age, long before the story of Santa Claus was thought of). Santa is very fat and sort of looks similar to Papa Smurf, as they both have white beards and wear red clothing. There was also a Smurfs Christmas Special in which Papa Smurf was mistaken for Santa Claus.)

It takes nine reindeers to haul your fat ass.

(Santa traditionally uses eight reindeer to pull his flying sleigh. In the mid-20th century, a ninth reindeer, Rudolph, was created for the novelty song "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer". Moses says that this is because of his weight.)

You took the Christ out of Christmas and just added more mass.

(Christmas, or "Christ's mass", was developed to celebrate the birth of Jesus in contrast to Roman pagan festivals, according to one of several theories on its origin. With the creation of modern-day Christmas traditions like Santa Claus in the late 19th and early 20th century AD, however, Christmas celebrations became heavily commercialized and based on marketing and buying gifts for children. This is frequently criticized by some Christian denominations (most especially those who trace their origins to Puritanism), arguing that it has made people forget the true spirit of Christmas. Here, Moses is once again jabbing at Santa's weight. He's also likely criticizing how in modern Christmas celebrations, people tend to feast heavily, by calling them "more mass".)

You need to stop breakin' into houses and creepin' and peepin'.

(Santa enters kids' houses on Christmas Eve while they're asleep to give them gifts, and he watches over kids so he knows if they are worthy of a gift from him. Moses believes that this implies that Santa Claus is both a stalker and a pedophile.)

On naughty kids while they sleepin' and keep your hands off my stocking.

(Santa knows if you have been "bad or good" because of the fact that he watches over you and Moses possibly refers to "naughty" kids, meaning there's a sexual connotation to them. He wants Santa to give kids their privacy as well as to keep away from his stockings (in many cultures, presents are often placed in Christmas stockings. "Stocking" could also be seen here as a phallic euphemism.)

Don't you "Ho Ho" me.

(Santa's is known for his jolly laugh of "Ho Ho Ho!" However, Moses tells Santa to not laugh at him. )

I'll split your ass in half, like I did the Red Sea.

(One well-known part of the Exodus was that God told Moses to raise his staff when the Hebrews needed to pass the Red Sea. When Moses did this, the Red Sea parted, allowing the Hebrews to escape Egypt to the Promised Land. This even shows up on his background in the rap.)

You ain't a saint, you a slaver, like a pharaoh in the snow.

(The legend of Santa Claus originated from a third century Greek bishop named Saint Nicholas of Myra. However, Moses asserts that Santa Claus is not deserving of being called a Saint because of the fact that his elves are not being paid back for the work they do for him, which to Moses is tantamount to forced labor and slavery. Moses compares Santa Claus to the Pharaohs of Ancient Egypt (because of the fact that the Pharaohs kept lots and lots of slaves and how the Book of Exodus tells how the Israelites were slaves in Egypt until Moses helped set them free) and thus order Santa...)

Stop with the unpaid labor and let my little people go.

(...to free his elves from what to Moses is effectively their unpaid labor and slavery to him (Santa Claus). The phrase "Let my people go" is in the Bible, although it is actually said by God when he meets Moses in the Burning Bush and instructs him to tell the Pharaoh, "Thus says the Lord, 'Let my people go, that they may serve me.'" The phrase "little people" here refers both to the dwarves and elves being of uncommonly short height, as well as the ordinary people in a country or organization who do not have much power. )

Elves:

We ain't slaves!

(The elves rebut Moses's previous lines about them being slaves, denying that they're are being used for free labor.)

All that sand turned your brains to mush!

(Sand, common terrain in Egypt and the Middle East, is abrasive and can erode some substances into a gelatinous mush. The Elves think all that time in the desert and all the sand he encountered has warped Moses' mind.)

Santa Claus:

I think you need to stop smokin' all that burnin' bush.

(A critical part of Moses' story is that while he was in exile in Midian, Moses saw a bush that was burning, but wasn't consumed. Curious, Moses walked over, and a deity who claimed to be the same God worshipped by Moses' ancestors spoke to him, revealing his name to be יהוה and commanding him (Moses) to go back to Egypt and free the Israelites from their bondage. Burning bush, in this case, is also referring to drugs which are consumed by smoking like weed (which Snoop Dogg does and Santa calls him out for), and Santa says it may be making Moses go crazy. It is also a reference to Dr. Dre's song "The Next Episode", featuring Snoop Dogg and Nate Dogg, in which the famous "Smoke weed everyday" is the last line of the song, said by Nate. Santa Claus is once again be mocking Moses for being high and is once again making a reference to the previously mentioned theory that Moses was high. )

Elves:

Yeah, we're magical workers, man!

(They're Santa's helpers, but they're magic.)

We hang with reindeers.

(One of the elves' duties is to take care of Santa's reindeer.)

Yo, here's a GPS!

(As a present, an elf holds up a gift containing a GPS for Moses, saying he could use it to find his way to the Promised Land. This line is also a possible reference to the fact that Snoop Dogg, who plays Moses, lent his voice to a Tom Tom GPS system in 2009.)

Who gets lost for forty years?!

(This line is inaccurate as in the "Bible", God punished the Hebrews for listening to negative speeches from scouts who were in Israel. Their punishment was to wander in the desert for 40 years, though they were not really lost. This is most likely intentional ignorance used to insult Moses, misinterpreting "wander" as "lost".)

Santa Claus:

You're a glorified secretary, so write this down!

(As stated before, according to the tradition of Mosaic authorship, God revealed the first five books of the Hebrew Bible (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy, which are collectively known as the Torah for Jews and Samaritans and Pentateuch for Christians) to Moses when he was on Mount Sinai for forty days and nights and Moses subsequently wrote them down (with the exception of the verses describing Moses' death and burial). By calling Moses a "glorified secretary", Santa might also be calling Moses overrated before he then tells Moses to write down what he and the elves will say. )

Elves:

Begat deez nutz!

("To beget" means "to bring or bear", as in to bear a child. The past tense, "begat", is used frequently in the Bible. Many verses in Genesis document a family history in the form "…and X begat Y, and Y begat Z…" It also references the Dr. Dre song "Deeez Nuuuts" on "The Chronic" album, which Snoop Dogg contributed a part to. Here, the elf tells Moses to suck Santa's balls. The line is also a homophone to the words, “because this night”, the reason which will be explained in the next line.)

Santa Claus:

Santa Claus is coming to town!

("Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" is a popular Christmas carol, and here, Santa says he's making his entrance to beat Moses.)

Moses:

So much drama in the Israe-L B.C.

(When Moses starts this line, he uses his staff to turn the GPS gift that Santa and his elves give to him into a flock of birds. Due to Israel's fragile location sandwiched between the two Ancient Near Eastern powers of Egypt and Mesopotamia, much chaos has befallen the Israelites throughout their history. The Torah and the Hebrew Bible document much of this "drama". The way Moses stars this out is the same way Snoop started out his song, "Gin and Juice". He says, "With so much drama in the L-B-C," L-B-C referring to Long Beach, California. Here, he uses it to refer to Israel in the B.C. age, a.k.a. the era before Christ.)

It's kinda hard talking directly to the G-O-single-D.

(The next line is also from "Gin and Juice", in which Snoop says, "It's kinda hard being Snoop D-O-double-G." In this line, he talks about the drama making it difficult to communicate with God. This may also refer to how observant Jews do not write God directly to avoid being complicit in saying the name of God (as one of the Ten Commandments is a prohibition on taking the name of God in vain). )

Hand me my chisel, I got a new commandizzle for y'all.

(The Ten Commandments were written on the Tablets of Stone by God with his own finger. However, Moses now wants to write an eleventh commandment, so he tells someone to give him his chisel so he can carve his eleventh commandment on the Tablets of Stone. Snoop, playing Moses, tweaked "commandment" with his trademark "-izzle" suffix to keep rhyme with "chisel")

'Thou shalt not let children sit on a grown man's lap at the mall.'

(Moses says his new commandment in the same way the other Commandments are translated to English in the King James Bible, starting with "Thou shalt not". In this line, Moses is referring to mall Santas, and how kids sit on their laps to be asked what they want for Christmas as well as have their photos taken. Moses is thus implying that Santa Claus and all mall Santas are pedophiles and that the tradition of mall Santas should be discontinued eternally. )

I'll beat you ten times before the bread can rise, you dummy,

(Moses says he'll beat Santa ten times in rhyme before bread leavens, or rises with yeast. The ten times may refer to the ten plagues as well as the Ten Commandments. As Moses led his fellow Jews to freedom, they could not make and eat leavened bread to satisfy their hunger during their journey, as it would have taken too long to rise using yeast. As such, they ate an unleavened bread known as matzo. In remembrance of these events, Jews traditionally eat matzo in lieu of leavened bread during the Passover Seder.)

And walk off into the land of my milk and honeys.

(Moses states he is leaving for the Promised Land of Canaan, which is described as a "land of milk and honey". Apparently, it also has drop-dead gorgeous women, (or honeys, as he calls them) with attractive breasts that produce milk. The phrase "milk and honey" is also said in the Book of Exodus during Moses' vision of the burning bush. Ironically, according to the Book of Deuteronomy, Moses never actually made it to the Promised Land (though he did, get a glimpse of it from Mount Nebo before he died at the age of 120). )

Scrapped lyrics

Moses:

I crossed deserts and scaled mountains with my staff

(Moses brags about his treks from Egypt to the Promised Land, in which he carried his famous staff and climbed up Mount Sinai to receive the Ten Commandments.)

How else do you think I got these two golden calves?

(According to the Bible, while Moses was up on Mount Sinai receiving the Ten Commandments, his brother Aaron created a calf (most likely a Canaanite Bull-El) made of all of the Israelites' golden jewelry, which the Israelites worshipped as a god in fear of Moses's absence. "Calf" is also a word used to refer to the lower part of the human leg between the foot and the knee. Moses explains that his journey across deserts and up mountains gave him well-toned calf muscles, or "golden calves.")

This mofo ain't got mojo like Moses

("Mofo" is slang for "motherfucker." Mojo is originally a magic charm, talisman, or spell, but has since come to mean appeal or talent. Moses says that Santa Claus is not as talented as him nor as magical as him.)

Mo' money is yo' motivation and you know this

(Modern Christmas traditions, and especially Santa Claus, have been criticized by conservative Christians (most especially those tracing their origins to Puritanism) for being too overly commercialized and centered on merchandising and selling products. Moses berates Santa for wittingly being a symbol of such.)

I'm the prophet's prophet fo' sho' yo

(A prophet is an inspired teacher or proclaimer of God's will. Moses calls himself the "prophet's prophet," as he is regarded as the most important prophet of Judaism and Samaritanism, and on top of that, he is highly revered in Christianity and Islam. Moses uses the slang term "fo' sho' yo," meaning "for sure, yo" to punctuate his line and create a triple rhyme for the next.)

You're a prostitute for profit so ho ho ho

(Moses calls Santa a "prostitute for profit" due to his late-night work schedule, his aforementioned merchandising, and his laugh pattern, stylized as "ho ho ho." A "ho" is a slang term for a prostitute.)

You're a UPS man who doesn't get paid

(Moses compares Santa to a UPS man, i. e. a delivery man working for United Parcel Service, due to his shipping of packages. The difference is a lack of direct payment, as Santa is never depicted receiving direct monetary gain for his work.)

Watch out Santa cuz you're about to get sleighed

(Moses warns Santa that he'll "sleigh" him, a pun on Santa's main form of transportation – a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer – and the word "slay", meaning to kill someone in a violent way.)

You hang with elves and deer whose noses glow

(Santa is typically depicted as working with elves, who help make the presents for the children, and reindeer, who fly his sleigh. One key reindeer is Rudolph, who has an unusual glowing red nose that helps navigation in clouds and fog.)

When I'm finished with my crew you'll be screaming, let my little people go

(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Stop with the unpaid labor and let my little people go." Moses compares the Israelites he led to the Promised Land to Santa's elves, saying that his "crew" of the Israelites would defeat Santa Claus, leaving Santa to plead for Moses to let the elves go.)

I'm a prophet you're a fat saint named Nick

(Moses claims himself as better than Santa Claus, saying that while he's a prophet, Santa is just a fat folk figure based on a saint with a simple name.)

I took my folks and led them out of Egyptian evil

(Moses helped the Jews escape the bondage of the Egyptian pharaoh.)

I'm talking Exodus, movement for Jew(ish?) people

(Exodus is the book in the Bible that follows Moses's travels in leading the Jews to the Promised Land, and is used to describe the mass departure of the Jewish people.)

I'm a prophet who stayed on a mountain for 40 nights before I came off it

(Moses traveled up Mount Sinai and stayed there for forty days and forty nights. According to tradition, during the forty days and nights Moses was on Mount Sinai, God revealed to him the Torah and the Ten Commandments.)

You're a puppet for profit hungry rich motherfuckers stuffing their pockets

(Moses makes another jab at Santa Claus being a centerpiece of capitalist greed.)

Lay off the sweets fat man, you're hella chubby

(Moses tells Santa that he eats too many sweets, resulting in his weight. This is because it was a common tradition for children to leave milk and cookies for Santa Claus)

They should call your hood the land of way too much milk and honey

(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "And walk off into the land of my milk and honeys." A "hood" is slang for neighborhood. Moses says that because Santa eats too much and has become too fat (as well as the fact that the North Pole is always while like milk as it snows there all the time), his "hood," the North Pole, should be called the "land of too much milk and honey.")

Stay away from my chimney with your candy canes and peppermints

(Santa Claus enters homes through the chimney and leaves behind candy canes, a peppermint candy, along with presents. Moses wants Santa to not do that, for a reason that'll be explained in the following line.)

Where I'm from that's called breaking and entering

(Moses doesn't want Santa to come down his chimney because it is akin to a burglar breaking and entering into his house.)

I'll sick my snake cane on you

(In Exodus 7:9 and Exodus 7:10, Moses is told to throw his staff down in front of the pharaoh and it would turn into a serpent, of which he does successfully. Moses says he'll send out this snake again to have him attack Santa.)

Without me there'd be no you

(Christianity is a religion that originated as an apocalyptic sect of Judaism that regarded Jesus Christ as the resurrected Messiah. Moses claims that had he not laid the groundwork of the Jewish religion, Christianity, and subsequently, Santa would have never come to exist.)

Santa Claus:

You sleigh me? It took you forty years to make your people happy

This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Yo, here's a GPS! Who gets lost for forty years?!" Santa rebuts the line about Moses "sleighing" him, insisting that he can't do a simple task of making people happy over the course of forty years. The wandering of the Israelites in the desert lasted for forty years.)

Christmas is the promised land so get the fuck out

Santa claims that the Promised Land has become Christmas and the religion it stands for, telling Moses to leave.)

Have fun with Chanukah

(Hanukkah (sometimes spelled Chanukah) is an eight night long Jewish holiday that usually occurs around Christmastime which celebrates the rededication of the Second Temple after the Jews successfully gained independence from the Seleucid Empire following the success of the Maccabean Revolt. In contrast to Christmas which is accorded great significance in Christianity (and is even celebrated for 12 days after December 25 by some Christians), Hanukkah is considered only a minor holiday for most Jews (its status was only inflated during the 19th century by American Jews wanting to integrate their own traditions with American Christmas traditions). Santa mocks Moses, saying that he'll never have Christmas, so he'll have to deal with the lesser holiday. )

I'll deck your balls

(To deck means to decorate something or knock someone to the ground with a punch. Santa says he'll punch Moses in the genitals. This is a reference to the popular Christmas song Deck the Halls.)


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