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Mitt Romney

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Mitt Romney
Lloyd Ahlquist As Mitt Romney
EpicLLOYD as Mitt Romney
Character Information
Birth name Willard Mitt Romney
Born March 12, 1947 (age 66)
Physical description
Hair Black
Eyes Blue
Based On
Mitt Romney by Gage Skidmore 6
Rap Battle Information
Appeared In Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney
Vs Barack Obama and Abraham Lincoln
Release Date October 15, 2012
Votes on Website 21%
Location(s) Patriotic Stars and Stripes
USA flag
Misty Woods
Call me a vicious business man, 'cause Romney's stealing this race!
— Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney battled Barack Obama in Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney. Abe Lincoln interrupted the rap battle as a third-party rapper to go against the two candidates and point out their faults. He was played by EpicLLOYD

Information on the Rapper

Willard Mitt Romney (born March 12, 1947) was the 2012 Republican presidential candidate. He lost the campaign to current president Barack Obama. Born in Detroit to 1968 Republican primary candidate George Romney, he is the 70th governor of the state of Massachusetts and retired CEO of Bane & Company. He is well known for saving the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics, and he's a member of the LDS (Mormon) Church, serving a mission in France. He was running for president with running mate Paul Ryan, and was taking part in one of the closest presidential debates in the last 100 years.

ERBoH Bio

Hello friend, I'm Mitt and I'm going to shake your hand, look you in the eyes and have a conversation. I'm the Republican nominee for president in the 2012 election. I may have been born with a "silver spoon" in my mouth (my dad ran the American Motors Corporation and had a presidential run himself) but that doesn't mean I'm not open to doing a little hard work. Maybe 47% of you could learn something from my example? I made my millions in corporate America, running a company called BainCapital, proved myself as President and CEO of the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympic Games Organizing Committee, and eventually served as Governor of Massachusetts (reducing the state's debt and introducing health care reform that's absolutely nothing at all like the health care reform Obama's pushing). Let's not let religion into this debate, but yes, I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (otherwise known as Mormons), and yes I went door to door trying to convert people, and yes we used to allow multiple wives, and yes that means we kind of allowed gay marriage as long as the two (or more) ladies were also married to a dude. Actually that would be lesbian, but in a way it's the same thing. In all other cases, gay marriage is bad, and I won't be allowing that to happen. Let's fix America together!

Lyrics

Verse 1:

I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts.

I'm rich! I got fat stacks and super PACs.

We all know what went down in that 2008 election.

You're a decent politician with a winning complexion.

You're all Barack and no bite, been no change and we're all still hoping

That you'll shut your mouth, but like Guantanamo Bay they're both open.

You're from the windy city, where you're looking pretty with your blowhards.

But come January, you'll be left evicted and with no job.

Raw rhymes stronger than my jawline when I spit a phrase.

Knocking you harder than front doors in my old mission days.

You see this silver spoon? This dug Mass out of debt.

Took you four years to drop unemployment down below 8%.

You feel that Barry? You're old news. Everyone's having doubts.

And your rhymes are as weak as this economy that you've done nothing about!

Call me a vicious business man cause Romney's stealing this race!

I'll go Bain Capital on your donkey ass, restructure your face!

Verse 2:

Whatever, that 40% thing got you real mad,

What, did it remind you how many decent parents you had?

Verse 3:

Ha! Don't bring up wives, man! What are you doing?

You got hitched to the female version of Patrick Ewing!

Verse 4:

Ahhuuhhaa...you're a stuttering communist

Verse 5:

You're stupid!

Verse 6:

EERRGGG!

Scrapped Lyrics

  • You can't bring the unemployment rate to below 8 percent.
  • Ahhhuuhaa... today Jay-Z, what are you saying?

Trivia

  • His inclusion in the series is based on events from 2012, making him the most "recent" rapper in the series in this sense.
  • Mitt Romney has the longest verse to date in ERB history, starting at 0:13 and ending at 1:06, a total of 53 seconds.
  • He is the first major presidential candidate (who has not been president) to rap, although John McCain was the first to appear as a cameo.
    • Sarah Palin (featured in an earlier battle) and Donald Trump (featured later on) have also attempted to make presidential runs, but have never reached the "finals".
    • They are both played by EpicLLOYD .
  • Since Lloyd was not tall enough, he needed to stand on a green box in order to get slapped by Abe Lincoln (Nice Peter).
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