("As I live and breathe" is an idiomatic expression used to show surprise at coming across someone or something, and Jackson can't believe he's up against Presley in this battle. He also references Elvis impersonators, or people who dress themselves like Elvis, and how they perform at fake Elvis concerts, normally titled things like "Elvis Lives".)
You stole rock and roll, gave us rockabilly cheese!
(Elvis, though known as the "King of Rock and Roll", didn't create the genre. At the time, African-Americans were the people dominating rock and roll music, and Elvis made music out of it with his early works by melding rock and country elements in what became known as "rockabilly". In other words, he changed the music to his own style, and Jackson accuses him of stealing it, as well as calling Presley's music cheesy. Rockabilly also sounds similar to rock-a-belly. A person's belly gets wobbly when they are overweight and fried/grilled cheese can cause a person to get fat. This could also be a jab at Elvis gaining weight later in his life.)
You dance like an epileptic, nothing but left feet! I've seen it!
(Having two left feet means being clumsy (especially when referring to dancing). Jackson says that Elvis's dancing is comparable to epilepsy, a brain disorder in which a person has repeated seizures, and he has nothing but left feet (two left feet), or dances bad.)
Every record you set, man, I Beat It!
(Jackson wrote the song "Beat It", and he says this to show that he beat every record Presley made in the music entertainment industry, still holding these world records today.)
Here's a tip: don't swallow a bucket of drugs,
(Presley's death came from drug abuse, so Jackson says he shouldn't have overdosed on so many drugs. Ironically, Jackson would be killed by doctor-administered prescription drug abuse in 2009.)
So you won't die on the toilet dropping hunks of Burning Love!
(Presley was found dead on his toilet, and "Burning Love" is one of Presley's songs in which he says, "I'm just a hunk, a hunk of burning love." A hunk is a lump or large chunk of something, so Jackson uses this phrase as a euphemism for excrement. He may also be calling Presley's song shit.)
I'm Bad! I'm a Smooth Criminal! Better face up!
("Bad" and "Smooth Criminal" are both songs from Michael Jackson. Referencing the title of his songs, he calls himself tough compared to Elvis.)
Call me Ed Sullivan, shoot you from the waist up!
(Both Jackson and Presley appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show. When Presley first showed his dance moves on the show, Sullivan was so unnerved by Presley's "vulgar" dancing that he made the cameraman shoot him from the waist up in order not to show viewers his throbbing crotch. Jackson makes a joke where shoot can mean shooting a gun and shooting a camera, but in this case, he means to shoot him with a gun.)
Watch me moonwalk and I step on your blue suede!
(Jackson's signature move was his moonwalk, and Presley covered Carl Perkins' "Blue Suede Shoes", for which Presley's adaptation is more well-known. The chorus says, "Now don't you step on my blue suede shoes," so in stepping on his shoes, Jackson hopes to irritate Presley.)
Even in death, I go platinum on Blu-ray!
(A movie on Jackson's final concert, This is It, came out on Blu-ray Disc shortly after he died and was certified 5x Platinum in Ireland.)
Spitting out hits since I was six years old!
(Jackson was the youngest member of the Jackson 5, starting his singing career at the age of six.)
I'm the King of Pop! You're the King of Jelly Rolls!
(Jackson is referred to as the King of Pop, and Elvis, known as the King of Rock and Roll, became fat in his later years. Jackson says his title should be the King of Jelly Rolls instead of the King of Rock and Roll, since jelly rolls were a type of junk food from their era, as was pop, otherwise known as soda.)
Well, I died on the shitter, but I don't give a crap.
(Presley references back to Jackson's previous line, in which he told him he was found dead on the toilet, or the shitter, but Presley says he doesn't give a crap, a crass way of saying he does not care, which plays on the fact that people crap when they're on the toilet.)
You ain't got half the badass battle raps that I have!
(Presley says Jackson doesn't have enough good rhymes to be able to freestyle against him; that is to say Jackson is the weaker rapper and can easily be beaten by the more experienced Presley.)
I got one for your monkey, two for your clothes.
(Jackson had his own monkey named Bubbles, and Jackson was noted for his odd wardrobe in his adult years. This line and those which follow it are again referencing the lyrics from Elvis' cover of "Blue Suede Shoes", in which he sings, "Well, it's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, now go, cat, go.")
Three for your family, and four for your nose!
(Joe Jackson, father of the Jackson 5, was abusive and an imposing manager, who made all of his children practice and perform music nonstop, and made the family dysfunctional. This was also referenced before by Lady Gaga when she said to Sarah Palin, "You are the sum of everything I despise with the most dysfunctional family since the Jackson fucking Five!" It was also mentioned later by Skrillex to Mozart, "Your daddy issues make the Jackson Five look like the Family Circus!" The second part of the line refers to Jackson's multiple plastic surgeries on his nose.)
You better surrender talkin' bout them ABC's,
(Presley says Jackson should stop singing innocent songs and confess to his true nature. "ABC" was a Jackson 5 hit single in which Jackson had lead vocals.)
'Cause all you wanna do is teach kids the birds and the bees!
("The birds and bees" is a way to try to explain sex to children. There are rumors about Jackson molesting children, so Presley taunts him for trying to show these kids what sex is like.)
This is the big time, Jacko. No dress rehearsal.
(By the late 1980s, due to numerous bizarre reports, some but not all true, Jackson was dubbed "Wacko Jacko", a name he despised. Presley also states that this is live and not a rehearsal.)
I'll light you up like your hair in a Pepsi commercial!
(During the filming of a 1980s Pepsi commercial, Jackson's hair famously caught on fire. Afterwards, he needed reconstructive surgery.)
I can tell you're angry, but I can't comprehend it.
(Presley think Jackson looks mad at him, but doesn't know why, since in the next line, he thinks he shouldn't be mad at him after he became white.)
I stole from black culture. Why are you offended?
(Jackson had a condition called vitiligo, a rare autoimmune disorder that destroys cells producing pigment (melanin) in dark-skinned people. This caused parts of his skin to become white, but it is nearly certain that he also had plastic surgery done to lighten his skin and to camouflage areas that would appear blotchy because of vitiligo. Since Jackson no longer was a black man, he shouldn't get mad over Presley stealing from their culture, as he had mentioned in Jackson's opening lines.)
Your daddy beat gold records out of you like alchemy!
(Again, Presley brings up the fact that Joe Jackson would beat his children until they sang correctly. He was also the driving force behind the Jacksons perfecting their act. Presley implies Jackson's success was due to his father's abuse. Alchemy is the faux science of converting matter into gold, which references the gold records Jackson sold worldwide.)
Don't make me spank you and dangle your ass over a balcony!
(Jackson is infamous for hanging his youngest son, Blanket, over a balcony as an infant, and Presley says he will do the same to Jackson if provoked.)
Michael Jackson (Adult):
Ohhh, it's about time for a Thriller!
(Jackson turns from a black kid to a white adult once this verse begins. He starts off with his famous falsetto vocal, "Ohhh!" One of Jackson's most famous songs is "Thriller", which became the best-selling music video of all time.)
Didn't lose any chocolate; I just added vanilla!
(Jackson confirms that he had vitiligo. He says that while his skin had turned "vanilla", or white, he hasn't lost any part of his identity as a black person and that he got better as a rock star even as his skin turned lighter.)
I'm going Off the Wall! I won't stop 'til I get enough!
(Off the Wall was a Michael Jackson album, most notable for being his first solo album as an adult; "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" was another one of Jackson's hit songs, which was also in the Off The Wall album.)
Whooping your big fat ass with my shiny glove!
(One of Jackson's trademark clothing articles was wearing a shiny glove on one hand, which he will use to beat Presley, who had become out of shape and gained weight.)
How you gonna talk about the birds and the bees
(A reference to a line that Presley previously said, meaning he shouldn't be the one talking about Jackson.)
When you met your own wife when she was only fourteen?
(Presley met his wife Priscilla Ann Wagner when she was fourteen years old and married her seven and a half years later.)
Then you made one daughter; she (ah!) came to me.
(Elvis' only daughter, Lisa Marie Presley, befriended Jackson and married him.)
I took her to my Neverland Ranch to Hee-Hee!
("Hee-Hee" is another one of Jackson's singing filler phrases. The use of "Hee-Hee" as a censor for sex is more likely used for the purpose of humor than actual censorship. Neverland Ranch is the famous residence of Jackson, and Jackson says he brought Elvis' daughter here to supposedly have sex with her.)
You shoulda stayed in the army, dude!
(Presley was drafted into the army in 1958, receiving the notice only two days after his final appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, and spent two years as a soldier in Germany until he was honorably discharged in 1960. He said that, despite his fame, he wanted to be treated as any other soldier. Upon his return, he began focusing on low-budget movies that were widely panned. Jackson suggests that his music started getting worse after his return from the army, and he should have stayed while he still had his dignity. The army also makes its soldiers become more physically fit, so Jackson could be saying Presley shouldn't have left since it caused him to gain more weight afterwards, most notably near the end of his life.)
Shamone, even Tito looks better than you!
("Shamone" was another word Jackson used to say as an exclamation on his songs (however, is written as "come on" in Jackson's album booklets). Tito Jackson is Michael's older brother, and was oftentimes referred to as the "ugly duckling" of the family. Jackson says that even Tito looks better than Elvis does.)
I'm singing "Aaaahhhhhh!" You're singing "Don't Be Cruel".
(Jackson sometimes screamed his vocals in his songs. Presley wrote a song called "Don't Be Cruel", so Jackson thinks the title of the song makes him sound weak.)
There's only one crown, baby. Let the one King rule!
(Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley both have the title of King in their respective music genres, and Jackson says only one of them deserves the true title.)
Elvis Presley (Adult):
You're a creeper, dude. You like to grab your own wanger!
(Presley points out that Jackson looks like a creep, or a pedophile, with all the facial reconstruction he got and accusations of molesting kids. Jackson's other signature move is his crotch grab. Wanger in this verse means penis.)
I only let you marry my daughter 'cause I knew you'd never bang her!
(Presley jokes that he only allowed Jackson married his daughter because he figured they wouldn't have sex, possibly for the accusations of Jackson being a pedophile. The marriage only lasted two years, so Elvis didn't have much to worry about with him and his daughter.)
You think you're tough? Man, you look like Tootie!
(Presley says that Jackson isn't too strong since he looks like Tootie Ramsey from The Facts of Life when Jackson was younger. Tootie also appeared as a cameo played by the same person who played young Michael Jackson, Bentley Green.)
I was badder than you in my Blue Hawaii movie!
(Presley wrote a musical called Blue Hawaii. Elvis played as a man who came back from the army, and he claims his character is tougher than Jackson is.)
You lost your damn mind: that's why they cast you in The Wiz!
(Presley says that Jackson was perfect for the role that he played in The Wiz, a funk adaptation of The Wizard of Oz cast on Broadway. Jackson played the Scarecrow, who wished he had a brain; Presley thinks MJ lost his mind like the Scarecrow.)
You're like a sad white woman who never got to be a kid!
(Presley jokes that Jackson looks like a white woman in his adult years because of his vitiligo and long hair. Jackson, who had been bossed around by his father throughout his whole childhood, never got the chance to act like a normal kid. Because of this, he always acted like a kid as an adult, which is why he was seen playing with kids. He also called himself Peter Pan, as he never grew up in heart, and that became a reason he named his house the Neverland Ranch.)
I'm out, before you try to hold me and free your willy!
(Jackson wrote and performed a song for Free Willy, a 1993 movie about a killer whale. Presley making a joke about Jackson wanting to free his "willy" because he thinks he's perverted, so he's gonna get out of the rap battle, as it's near the end. "Will You Be There" was the song that Jackson wrote for Free Willy, which begins with the words "Hold me".)
Later, weirdo. Elvis is leaving the building!
(Presley ends his verse by saying that he's leaving the building, or the battle. After Elvis concerts, they would typically state "Elvis has left the building" to make the encore-awaiting audience leave.)