Tom Riddle me this, you bitch: How's your little wand gonna beat my staff?
I leave mics in flames, torched by Gandalf!
Touch mine, Dumbledore, and scorch your other hand off!
You fool, you got Snaped! You're not a real fighter!
Death makes you die! It just makes my brights brighter!
Your ass is like Gringotts: everyone makes a deposit!
We all know you've more than a boggart in your closet!
The prophecy forgot to mention this day,
When I knocked your ass back to Gandalf the Gray!
Check your status: they call me headmaster. You're nothing!
Nice staff, you compensating for something?
I prefer the company of wizards and I'm proud of it!
You try to win your battles with two fat hobbits!
You think your hairy-toed friends are gonna harm me?
Wait'll they get a taste of Dumbledore's army!
Do not take me for some conjuror of cheap tricks.
I don't give a Fawkes about your Order of Pheonix!
I'll tie a new knot in your beard with your wrinkly balls!
For I am the one rapper to rule them all!
Your spells are a joke, not funny ones either.
Mines of Moria? Ha! More like Mind of Mencia!
I'll expecto my patronum on your face, you little snitch!
And when I'm finished, Imma fly like it's Quidditch!
This is the first battle to feature characters that originated from a work of literature.
This is the first rap battle where both title characters are fictional.
This is also the only fictional versus fictional battle of Season 1, while the next two seasons would feature two fictional battles each.
This is the second battle with some of the characters in the "Epic Rap Battles of History" outro scene (Dumbledore and Lockhart riding a broom).
The audio was uploaded on iTunes 10 days before the battle aired.
The last line of the song where Dumbledore says "And when I'm finished, Imma fly like it's Quidditch!" is a reference to a song starring Nice Peter, made before this rap battle called "Like it's Quidditch" (Parody of G6).
During the line 'When I knocked your ass back to Gandalf the Grey!', Gandalf is misspelled as Gandolf.