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Eve

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Eve
Eve Title Card
Jenna Marbles as Eve
Character information
Full name Eve
Nickname(s) First Woman on the Earth
First appearance Book of Genesis, c. 500 BC
Born c. 6200 BC[1]
Died Unknown
Physical description
Hair Unknown
Eyes Unknown
Based on
Eve Based On
Rap battle information
Appeared in Adam vs Eve
Vs Adam
Release date February 11, 2013
Votes on website 71%
Location(s) The Garden of Eden
A white background
That apple's the best thing I bit so far!
— Eve

Eve battled her spouse, Adam, in Adam vs Eve. She was portrayed by Jenna Marbles.

Information on the rapper

Eve is a figure from the Book of Genesis. In the Creation myth, she is depicted as the first ever woman on Earth. In the Bible, God is said to have created her from one of Adam's ribs while he was made to sleep. She was kicked out of the Garden of Eden with Adam after she was convinced by a cunning serpent to eat a forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, amid God's fear that they might become immortal like Him. After Adam and Eve were kicked out, God sealed the Garden so that they could not return to it. As they ventured out, the couple gave birth to several children, notably Cain and Abel, but it was not easy, as the power of God made life harder for them as punishment for their wrongdoing; both were rendered mortal, and Eve would be made to suffer the pains of childbirth.

Some Christian schools of thought believe Adam and Eve to be allegorical of humanity as a whole, and that Adam and Eve never existed as individual people.

Lyrics

Verse 1:

This battle's gonna end like every argument does,

With you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub!

I made a map, mother fucker, and I'm reading it, too!

Gives me specific directions how to fuck with you!

I know that you like to think you're so macho,

But you smell like ballsacks and nachos!

I work, while you and your boyfriend Steve

Drink and play sports in a fantasy league!

You're as sharp as a stick that I rub on my lips,

So go ahead, take a shot. I'm sure that you'll miss!

Like the laundry, the toilet, the grocery list,

If you stopped fucking up, I wouldn't have to get pissed!

Verse 2:

Don't even bring up swallow!

The first man on Earth ain't a tough act to follow!

One pump chump, and you're hung like a weasel!

(Pfft!) Ditch the fig leaf. Get yourself a pine needle!

You want alone time? Have it! In fact,

Suck your own dick and shave your own back!

That apple's the best thing I bit so far!

Now I see how much of a dick you are!

Epilogue:

Verse 1:

…I'm sorry, too.

Verse 2:

Don't even think about it!

Scrapped lyrics

Your back is hairy, and your balls smell like Godzilla.

It's like you evolved from some kind of gorilla.

Trivia

  • Eve is the first woman to rap against a man.
  • She and Adam are the first and second theological characters, originating solely from religion or mythology.
    • Moses might also be considered as the first, since his historicity is disputed.
    • This makes her the first theological woman rapper.
  • If the Creation stories aligned with real-world time, Eve would be the earliest-born woman to rap in an ERB. As she is a theological character, though, this distinction belongs instead to Cleopatra.
  • At only three characters long, Eve has the shortest official ERB name of any rapper.
  • Adam and Eve are the first two title rappers to not have a bio written about either of them on the Epic Rap Battles of History Website.

Footnotes

  1. If the ages of Adam and Eve's children are taken into account, including that of the Book of Revelations' prophecies, then the numbers will add up to around 6200 BC.

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