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Dr. Seuss

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Doctor Seuss
ERB 12 Dr. Seuss
Mickey Meyer as Doctor Seuss
Character information
Birth name Theodore Seuss Geisel
Nickname(s) Dr. Seuss, Theo LeSieg
Born March 2, 1904
Springfield, Massachusetts, USA
Died September 24, 1991 (aged 87)
La Jolla, California, USA
Physical description
Hair Grayish-white/Black
Eyes Brown
Based on
Rap battle information
Appeared in Dr. Seuss vs Shakespeare
Vs William Shakespeare
Release date August 17, 2011
Votes on website 51%
Location(s) Red background
Dr. Seuss' Storybook

Dr. Seuss battled William Shakespeare in Dr. Seuss vs Shakespeare. He did not rap himself due to having throat cancer in real life; instead, he called in (or painted in) two of his most famous book characters, the Cat in the Hat (Nice Peter) and Things 1 & 2 (EpicLLOYD) to rap for him. He was portrayed by Mickey Meyer

Information on the rapper

Theodore Seuss Geisel (March 2, 1904 – September 24, 1991) was an American writer, poet, and cartoonist most widely known for his children's books written under the name Dr. Seuss, Theo LeSieg, and, in one case, Rosetta Stone. He published 46 children's books, which were often characterized by imaginative characters, simplistic rhymes, and a frequent use of trisyllabic meter. His most celebrated books include Green Eggs and Ham, The Cat in the Hat, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, and Horton Hears a Who. Some of his more popular books have been made into movies, such as How the Grinch Stole Christmas.


There once was a man, Theodore Seuss Geisel was his name. His books were so wondrous, the fans they all came! He wrote books about boats and books about cats, and these cats were so crazy they often wore hats! The words were made up! Like Grinch and like Nool! In Nool lived Horton, an elephant, so cool! Seuss drew characters that caused havoc for me and for you, characters like Sneeches, plus Thing One and Thing Two! Oh, such worlds he created, making children elated, with the places he'd go, deep, but not complicated. But do you want to know the silliest, sneakiest, most hum-dingerist thing of all? This Dr. Seuss is me! He's not a character at all! A political cartoonist who had bigger stories to tell, and you know folks, I think, if I do say so myself, I tell and draw them pretty darn, diggily, wiggily, well!


Verse 1:

Cat in the Hat:

I would not, could not, on a boat

Read any of the boring-ass plays you wrote!

Even Horton doesn't wanna hear you,

And Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you!

You bore people to death!

You leave a classroom looking like the end of Macbeth!

I entertain a child of any age!

You gotta translate what you said on the opposite page!

How you gonna battle with the Cat in the Hat?

Little kids get scared when I step on the mat!

Think your ruffle-neck ass gonna rap to that?

I got a best-selling book about me coming back!

Verse 2:

Cat in the Hat:

You rap fast, you do. Yes, you rap fast, it's true.

Now, let's see how you rap versus Things 1 and 2!

Things 1 & 2:

Oh, no, we'll smash your globe!

Yo, you may have wrote the script, but now we running the show!

You can take your fancy words and send 'em back home to your mama!

Break our foot off in your ass with our feetie pajamas!

Man, we'll cook you up and eat you with some ham and green eggs!

We'll break offa your legs. Make no mistake, we in a rage!

All does not end well when we bust out our cage!

You getting upstaged, Bill. Yo, you just got played!


  • Dr. Seuss is one of two rappers to alter their name purely because of pronunciation issues ("Seuss" in German rhymes with "voice", not "goose", as was common in the US.) Oprah Winfrey is the other.
  • Dr. Seuss's background changes throughout the battle from a hillside, to a boat, to a classroom, to a cemetery.
  • Dr. Seuss is the second rapper that doesn't rap on his own. Instead, he gets his storybook characters to rap for him. The first was Stephen Hawking, who used his voice synthesizer to rap.
    • However, Stephen Hawking didn't need any support from other characters.
      • This makes Seuss the only character with a title card to not be able to rap on his own, due to his throat cancer in real life.

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