Donald Trump, who lived his life like Scrooge currently is living his, comes to warn Scrooge of what will happen if he continues to live such ways, warranting him visits from three "ghosts" to show him examples of what's to come. After Trump leaves, J. P. Morgan appears to Scrooge as the "Ghost of Rich Dudes' Past" to remind him of how classy rich folks were in the past and for Scrooge to turn his life around. Then Kanye West, the "Ghost of What's Right Now" appears to represent the modern rich man, who, although arrogant, takes notice of the people before him. Finally, the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come arrives as a final warning, telling Scrooge that he will die with remorse if he doesn't amend himself. Scrooge repents and promises to change his ways, thanking the ghosts.
[Note:Donald Trump is in light orange, Ebenezer Scrooge is in dark blue, J. P. Morgan is in tan, Kanye West is in brown, and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is in dark gray.]
Wake up, Scrooge! I'm about to take a Dickens of a dump
On this lonely, homely little miserable grump!
I'm like the star on a Christmas tree! You're like the stump!
I'm not known for my heart, but you're still getting trumped!
You remind me of my ex-wife in a bikini 'cause you disgust me.
Keep your TB from Tiny Timmy away from me; don't even touch me!
I don't shake hands; I don't make fans!
I ruin rappers faster than Scottish lands!
Even Jay-Z knows what a pimp I am!
I got my name on the front of the business, man!
My raps will haunt you, make you think you're going insane!
You're about to get whooped by three emcees of the ethereal plane,
So when the clock strikes, prepare to enter a world of Christmas pain,
'Cause I'm out! I got my own f***ing problems, call me 2 Chainz!
How dare you disturb me when I'm napping in my chair!
You're a crappy rap-spitting apparition! I ain't scared
Of this random phantom! Haunt all you want; I don't care!
I do not believe in ghosts, and I don't believe that hair!
J. P. Morgan:
Don't panic, Scrooge, but you're about to crash!
I'm J. P. Morgan, the Ghost of Rich Dudes Past,
Who's properly rocking the Monopoly mustache!
Yo, I own the railroad! I run these tracks!
You got dumped on a bench; now you're pissed at the world!
You should have made like Sebastian and kissed the girl
Because your greed is the curse that's gonna tear you apart!
What good is your purse if you're poor in your heart?
Bah, humbug! Your raps don't unnerve me; they're atrocious!
What frightens me the most is your gross ghost proboscis!
Business and success: that's the life I've selected,
So enough with your pictures from the past! I'm not affected!
Well, you're about to be right now!
I'm the ghost of what's right now!
(Aah!) Just take a lesson from Yeezy!
You're missing the point, Ebeneezy!
There's more to life than your work; take it easy!
Even I can make time for Azizy!
Best put some friends on your wish list,
'Cause you don't know the spirit of Christmas!
If you did, then you would, at this moment, (aah!)
Be sharing your money with some of the homeless!
No! This isn't happening!
Oh, this is maddening agony! Wait! Actually,
Harkening back to the dead Donald's lecture,
I still am expecting a final specter!
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come:
Boo!(Ah!)You're gonna die
With no one to love you and no one to cry!
Alone by yourself on the bed of your death
With the stench of regret on your last dying breath,
'Cause you've chosen the path of a selfish man
With Tiny Tim's innocent blood on your hands!
The penance you pay for the way you behave
Is written as plain as the name on this grave!
Are these the shadows of things that will be? Or things that may be, only?
If I depart from my course, can they change? Say it is thus with what you show me!
I promise to mend my ways! A friend to all men is what I will become!
It's Christmas! I haven't missed my chance to be different! God bless us, every—
I'm like a star on a Christmas tree! You're like a stump!
You're like a picture of my ex-wife in a bikini, 'cause you disgust me!
You're like a picture of my ex-wife, because you disgust me!
So when the clock strikes, prepare to enter your world of Christmas pain.
By this random phantom! Haunt all you want; I don't care!
Man, I run the railroad, I own these tracks!
You got released on a bench, all pissed at the world!
Business and success, that's the path I selected!
I promise to change my ways. A friend to all men is what I will become!
This battle was released on the 170th anniversary of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol: December 19th, 1843.
This is the first battle to be an adaptation of a famous tale.
J. P. Morgan, who represented the Ghost of Christmas Past, actually became rich after the release of A Christmas Carol.
On August 22nd, 2016, "Sometimes by losing a rap battle, you find a new way to win the war" was written in the description of the video. This is a reference to Donald Trump's quote, "Sometimes by losing a battle, you find a new way to win the war."