Dis Raps For Hire - Season 2 Episode 3: Nelson, Mark, Steven and Lucas is the thirteenth installment of Dis Raps For Hire and the third episode of Season 2. In this episode, EpicLLOYD disses four boys (Nelson, Mark, Steven and Lucas) who bully Jonas for being dyslexic. It also features Zach Sherwin as a guest rapper. It was released on July 19th, 2013.
EpicLLOYD's the microphonist of this stone-cold dis dish,
Choke-holds out like fish bones in your neck!
Light up your coals, heat up your stove, heads will roll!
'Bout to bake a Nelson, Mark, Steven, Lucas casserole!
(Oh!) These four lame dudes all sing the same tune!
These ain't the worst bullies; it's an acapella group!
A quartet of maggots who just ain't worth talkin' to,
Lest you're mockingly assaulting them like I was brought to do!
Ungodly large words, huh? (Pssh.) You're a laugh to me!
You patently lack an accurate perspicacity!
See, you'll just foment a massive wrath in me!
Instigating altercations such as these is of dubious sagacity!
I put the "dis" into "dislexic",
Disregard these dismal disrespectful disappointments!
Diseased with dysentery, y'all couldn't amount to shit,
So disappear! You disemboweled dicks are dismissed!
And as murderous as this first verse has been,
To be certain and assured, I've secured a Sherwin
To toss jackasses off your back like BLAOW!
Ey yo, Zach! (Haha!) Y'all done fucked up now!
It's not hard to tell my freezin' ruthless heart is far from meltin'.
This behavior makes me sick! I'm heavin', pukin', barfin', belchin'
Even, and as far as squelchin' beef, these dudes should start, or else I'm
Leavin' bruises, marks, and welts on Steven, Lucas, Mark and Nelson!
What an ironic twist:
You jerk-offs broke Jonas' wrist!
And if you think it's humorous when letters get switched,
And re-remixed, then please enjoy this.
Here's what happens when I blast the wrath raps past ten:
I got rage to vent on all sucker-ass men!
I'm deadlier than any cobra with poisonous insults!
When I spit at this snake clan, venom results!
I'll chop off a ball each if you start beef with Zach!
Leave you mean trolls with uneven sacks!
And in fact, it was funny as hell
To see an MC serve your stanken anus, LOL, eL.
You say, "Epic, he's dyslexic; crazy phrases, he won't get it."
I say bullshit, and I give my man some credit.
Every word he works out will read like a present,
An incentive, force repentance on this shitty four pack of degenerates!
So bro, don't feel hopeless! Show 'em that you own this!
Flip 'em the bird no matter how broke your wrist bone is!
Turn your back, strut away, tell 'em about who you're known as!
Like: "My name is Jonas…"
- This is the first Dis Rap to have a guest rapper.
- The RZA appeared in Dis Raps For Hire 9, but he did not rap.
- At the start of each Dis Rap, after reading the requester's comment, Lloyd yells angrily. In this episode, he says, "Ganging up four on one, you low-down rats!"