Dis Raps for Hire - Episode 4 is the fourth installment of Dis Raps For Hire and the fourth episode of Season 1. In this episode, EpicLLOYD helps djvapid with his ex-wife, Jennifer, who forgot about him and moved in with "a fat dude with no job" while he was serving in Iraq. It was released on March 28th, 2012.
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It's L back with some fresh Dis Raps for you!
I got to rip these fooooools,
'Cause certain things you just don't do; you just don't do!
Jennifer, I'm coming for you with my pens a blazing.
EpicLLOYD has been deployed to pay you for your treason.
What are you thinking? This story is crazy.
I wanna stop rhyming and just be like, "What the fuck, lady?"
And I'm not into hatin' women 'cept these super selfish kind.
I'd sacrifice a slice of brain to give you a piece of my mind!
Plus, Djvapid' patch me up again and I would be fine,
So I could bitch this chick out several thousand times!
I mean, talk about ball and chain; Jen came with a crane!
She's a true home-wrecker, straight earning the name!
I can't believe that's how you'd treat your high school sweetheart!
You go and sleep with some fat deadbeat retard,
While your man is out in the desert somewhere probably getting bombed,
And sewing other fallen soldiers' arms back on!
That's wrong! So shit, ain't this a pisser!
When I got asked to diss her, I was like, "Sir, yes, sir!"
And dude, fuck you, too!
I hope the chick never puts out and your balls turn blue.
Stay out the service, toooooo.
If I was your combat medic, I'd have left you!
I mean, when your own sibling rats you out, you gotta dismiss her.
Sorry DJ, you unwittingly married the wrong sister,
But congrats; if you asked me to find a crazier girl, I couldn't.
Vap's back from Iraq, but he's still dodging bullets!
And it's not your fault, dawg. Sometimes there's nothing you can do
'Cept throw your hands up in the air like that dude from Platoon,
And be like, "Bitch, get out! You're done being my spouse!
So take your new kid and get the hell outta my house!"
And no wonder she showed at Thanksgiving: She's broke for real!
Got two jobless mouths to feed and that free turkey's a meal!
But that's the bed you made, girl; now sleep where you shit,
But set your alarm so you can wake up and work your next double shift!
And that's my point of vieeeeeeeew,
You wanna walk a mile in his shoes, use his army boots!
And it's a golden rulllllle,
If you're gonna cheat, your bad deeds will come haunt you! BOO!
- This is the first Dis Rap where Lloyd exclusively disses a female.
- Platoon is a 1986 war film starring Willem Dafoe and Charlie Sheen, where Dafoe's character, Sergeant Elias throws his arms up in the air.
- At the start of each Dis Rap, after reading the requester's comment, Lloyd yells angrily. In this episode, he says "Lying, cheating floozies!"