Angela Trimbur as Cleopatra
|Birth name||Cleopatra VII Philopator|
|Died||August 12, 30 BC (aged 38)|
|Rap Battle Information|
|Appeared In||Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe|
|Release Date||May 7, 2012|
|Votes on Website||69%|
Information on the Rapper
Cleopatra VII Philopator (69 BC – August 12, 30 BC), better known as Cleopatra, was the final pharaoh of Egypt. She was a member of the Ptolemaic dynasty, a family of Greek origin that ruled Egypt. She was the wife of Ptolemy XIII, Ptolemy XIV and Mark Antony. She represented herself as a reincarnation of the Egyptian god, Isis. As pharaoh, she consummated a liaison with Julius Caesar that solidified her grip on the throne. She later elevated her son with Caesar, Caesarion, to co-ruler in name.
After Caesar's assassination in 44 BC, she aligned with Mark Antony in opposition to Caesar's legal heir, Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus (later known as Augustus). With Antony, she bore the twins Cleopatra Selene II and Alexander Helios, and another son, Ptolemy Philadelphus (her unions with her brothers had produced no children). After losing the Battle of Actium to Octavian's forces, Antony committed suicide. Cleopatra followed suit, according to tradition, by killing herself by means of an asp bite on August 12, 30 BC.
Bow before me! I am Cleopatra VII Philopator! Queen of the Nile! The last pharaoh of Ancient Egypt! No mortal can resist my charms! A member of the Ptolemaic dynasty! (That mostly means that my parents were also siblings.) I originally ruled Egypt jointly first with my father, then with each of my little brothers, Ptolemy XIII and Ptolemy XIV. As part of that whole deal, I had to marry my brothers and that was... well, you know what they say: "You can't have a dynasty without getting a little nasty." When Julius Caesar visited Egypt, I had myself smuggled into his bedroom in a big rug and, when the moment was right, jumped out to surprise him. Nine months later, our son Caesarian was born and Caesar was helping me take control of Egypt for myself. I was 21 and he was 52! When my beloved Caesar was assassinated, I teamed up with Mark Antony to fight the assassins and oppose Caesar's legal heir. Well, one thing led to another and we had some more kids. After we lost a few key battles, and with the enemy closing in, I committed suicide by cobra bite and died as the last pharaoh of Ancient Egypt.
You better hold more than your skirt, miss please.
I'm the Queen of the Nile, so just bow down to me!
Plus, you've got so much experience down on your knees.
Married a writer, but I don't even think you can read!
You sleep with any ugly dude who say he likes it hot.
Even Joe Dimaggio took a swing in your batter's box.
I'm a descendant of the gods, don't anger me trick.
You'll lose this battle like your bout with barbiturates!
You've still got no children after your third marriage.
You've lost so many babies, they should call you Miss Carriage!
You've got an hourglass figure, but that's about it.
A candle in the wind that can't act for shit!
- She is the first and (so far) the only rapper whose name is split in the title card.
- She is the earliest-born woman to appear in an ERB. Eve is earlier as a theological character.
- Cleopatra is the first rapper to have an actual animal appear with her, being her snake (shown on the right). Picasso is the second, with his dog, Lump.