Nice Peter as Charles Darwin
|Birth name||Charles Robert Darwin|
Stultis the Fool
|Born||February 12, 1809|
|Died||April 19, 1882 (aged 73)|
|Hair||White (formerly brown)|
|Rap battle information|
|Appeared in||Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin|
|Release date||November 14, 2016|
|Votes on website||TBD|
|Location(s)||The HMS Beagle|
A Pokémon battle scene
A dark gray background
|Release date||December 16, 2011|
Information on the rapper
Charles Robert Darwin was born on February 12th, 1809, in Shrewsbury, England. He was an English naturalist and geologist, best known for his contributions to evolutionary theory.
Darwin's exposure to specimens all over the globe raised important questions. Other naturalists believed that all species either came into being at the start of the world, or were created over the course of natural history. In either case, the species were believed to remain much the same throughout time. Darwin, however, noticed similarities among species all over the globe, along with variations based on specific locations, leading him to believe that they had gradually evolved from common ancestors. He came to believe that species survived through a process called "natural selection", where species that successfully adapted to meet the changing requirements of their natural habitat thrived, while those that failed to evolve and reproduce died off.
A major aid in his theory of natural selection was his journey on the HMS Beagle. This trip saw him go to the Galápagos Islands, where he noticed different adaptations in finches on each island. He noticed similar trends elsewhere, leading him to conclude that animals evolve to fit their environment.
In 1858, after years of further scientific investigation, Darwin publicly introduced his revolutionary theory of evolution in a letter read at a meeting of the Linnean Society. Initially his work thought differently from Christianity, resulting in Darwin being disgraced by the Church.
Following a lifetime of devout research, Darwin died at his family home in Downe, England, on April 19th, 1882, at the age of 73. During the next century, DNA studies revealed evidence supporting his theory of evolution. However, controversy surrounding its conflict with the religious view that all of nature was born of God still abounds today.
Hello there. Welcome to a world called Earth,
Where actual minds do groundbreaking work!
If you're looking for the fittest, I'm the natural selection!
You're so ineffective you couldn't even turn 11!
What you spit's just not hard-hitting enough!
It's kids stuff! You're soft like a Jigglypuff!
You got no Game, Boy, so you'll get the broom quick!
The real Ash packs a much bigger BOOMSTICK!
I'm a masterful naturalist!
What I've glimpsed will outclass all the crap on your laughable list!
My research reversed the first words of the Church!
You measure your worth by the sales of your merch!
Look, Mighty Morphin' Michael Vick,
Your animated slave fights make me sick!
When I battle a foe from so simple a beginning,
I'm not Charles Sheen, but I am Dar-winning!
It took millions of years for mankind to evolve!
Now they're hunched over cell phones playing with your balls!
And it was hard losing my daughters and their brother,
As hard as the wood that Oak gave your mother!
Hello there! Welcome to the world of reality,
Where animals are merely benefactors to humanity,
Not family! This is the cycle that we are born from,
And I'm the next professor you're taking orders from!
I'll make the face of a franchise faint!
Beat you 'til you're Red and Blue 'cause you got no game!
No strength, no smarts, not responsive to change
'Cause it took you over 20 years…not to age!
Over centuries, mankind has grown to be upright!
Today, they need to Pokémon GO get a life!
Hunched over touching balls with a phone in their hand,
So I hypothesize this fight is the Descent of a PokéMan!
If the power is inside, cough it up!
You can trade all you want; you're still the master of none,
And it doesn't matter how many badges you earn!
I keep spitting those burns to put Ash in an urn!
Not family! This is natural order and no lesser!
Now prepare to be uprooted by an actual professor!
Generations of evolution has made me the most fit
To shit on unscientific metamorphosis!
The process you misdefine is how we adapt,
And based on your league record, that's something you can't grasp!
You can't catch 'em all when you don't have the balls!
I'm a decorated fellow; you still haven't evolved,
So when you and your little rat try to give me a shock,
Just remember, you've lost to every champion you fought!
On the Origin of Species, we grow as a population,
Revising, but not restarting, as we move through generations.
These survival traits are nature's fate to pick and choose,
And I see an endangered species when I Pikachu!
If to Ketchum was your real test, then you scored an F!
What you call evolution is short of metamorphosis!
Now, the force of biology is how we reproduce!
It's called natural selection, and it won't choose you!
What you call evolution is mere shapeshifting!
Against a kid not smart enough to evolve a Pikachu!
This battle's natural selection, and it won't choose you!
Missed! I didn't even flinch!
Tell me how imaginary creatures are stronger than my finch!
You claim to conquer monsters, but your heart is so delicate!
Your mom asked me to revoke your gym membership!
What's a life of learning to a boy who's never grown?
Like the first movie, you're forever froze in an Everstone!
I've been catching critters before you were a Squirtle in your daddy's Poké Balls!
I'm sailing the championship that you never won,
You little grunt! You're soft like a Jigglypuff!
You got no Game, Boy, so you better choose quick!
Your glorified dogfights just make my heart sick!
I'd say you're an even worse trainer than Michael Vick!
- A preview of Darwin was shown during the "T-shirt & poster!!!" end slate of Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton.
- He battled Jesus Christ in an improv rap battle during the 2015 ERB Tour.
- He is the first ERB News host to be portrayed in a battle after the news video by the person who originally voiced them, who in this case was Nice Peter. This does not include Nice Peter, who understandably portrayed himself.
- In his title card, he uses a pair of forceps to pick meat out of a turtle's shell and taste it. This is a reference to his habit of eating the animals he used for examination.