My cold heart is many degrees beneath the deep freezer!
You're an obese, greasy sleaze squeezing a diseased peter
That no skeezer would touch if she had fifty foot tweezers!
Don't start a war with me; you're not hardcore!
I'll pimp-slap those face scars of yours: port and starboard!
You spent time in Alcatraz. I'm sure you were fine
If you dropped the soap as little as you drop dope rhymes!
I'm a busy man, Captain Crunch. I'll make this quick.
I'm ruining pirates faster than Johnny Depp did.
I had syphilis, yeah. Well, you're a huge dick
With a scurvy ridden ship filled with bilge rat pricks!
I run an intricate criminal syndicate, so show respect,
Or get that tongue ripped out your neck and shoved straight up your poop deck!
Slapping bitch ass teaches back since I was fourteen.
You ain't a tough guy. My kids dress up like you for Halloween!
I'll use that fuse in your hat to light up you and your buddies,
Then burn your sailboat down and collect the insurance money!
Then maybe they find your bloated body dead and washed up on the beach.
This is Capone rapping and I'm capping this Captain. Capisce?
(Arr!) The Valentine's Massacre brought you condemnation,
But I'm gonna sink you faster than your income tax evasion
When I toss you overboard like a mob abomination,
So prepare to learn the Davy Jones' locker combination!
Forty cannon on the Queen Anne; your gang can't stop it!
I'll pilfer all your rum and sell it back at a profit,
'Cause I'm a criminal legend with a bad ass name!
You're a fat thug with an STD in his brain!
C'mon, they chopped your head off and they hung it from a rope.
The only legend you left was your prohibition on soap!
I mean, that rat nest beard's trapped so many crumbs,
This bum could get marooned and still eat lunch for a month!
I'm the emcee assassin, slash like Edward Kenway!
Rap so hard, call me Al…dente.
Take your little sloop, John B, and go home!
Tell South Carolina Blackbeard got Capwned!
Any sausage eatin' mobsters named Al Capone should cross the,
Skull and crossbones, he'll walk the plank to Davy Jones' Locker!
Yar, I went out on an Adventure, but I was in my blimey prime!
See, I'd rather lose me head than lose me friggin' mind!
From likes of you's, I got nothing to fear.
'Cept maybe the evil beasties you got nestin' in your beard!
C'mere this is my town, I could buy your whole crew.
I got the DJ in my pocket, he stops when I tell him to!
I'm the emcee assassin with pinache like Edward Kenway!
Rhymes so hard you can call me Al Dente!
Go back Charlotte or wherever slum you call home!
Cause this is the Southside, baby, and you just got Capwned!
You can feed your grubby crew a lunch for a month!
EpicLLOYD said on his Reddit AMA that Al Capone was one of his favorite characters to play to date. Nice Peter also mentioned that he thought Capone's first verse had one of the best flows in ERB history.
This is the first battle to be sponsored by a company. Ubisoft asked Epic Rap Battles of History if they wanted to make a battle with a pirate, so the ERB team decided to use Blackbeard, a scene from Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, and feature Edward Kenway as a cameo appearance in the battle.
During Blackbeard's title card, his sword can be seen getting cut off on the left of the screen after he licks it.