Billy Mays vs Ben Franklin is the tenth installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and tenth episode of Season 1. It features TV pitchman, Billy Mays, rapping against American politician and inventor, Ben Franklin. After Billy Mays dies mid-battle, Vince Offer takes over the battle for Mays. It was released on June 23rd, 2011.
EpicLLOYD as Ben Franklin
Colin J. Sweeney as Billy Mays
Nice Peter as Vince Offer
Pat McIntyre as George Washington (cameo)
I’m big Ben Franklin, and this shan't be pretty!
Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of Philly!
You couldn't sell Rick James a bag of crack! You're out of practice!
My victory's more certain than death or taxes!
Fact is, you're a hack; wack QVC joke!
You peddle soap that cleans bird shit from my windows!
I’ll craft a lyrical coffin and then spit the nails in!
Call me Arthur Miller, son, 'cause it's death of a salesman!
Hi, Billy Mays here with this special TV offer!
Watch me crush this bald, fat, foppish founding father!
I'll take my Awesome Auger and sow your Quaker oats!
I'll shoot your rhymes down like a regiment of red coats!
I'm lord of the pitch and leader in home sales!
You're just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail!
Benny's got kite 'n key, but you're in for a shock
When I strike you with bolts from my lightning rod cock!
Stop! I protest these intolerable raps!
It takes just one easy payment for me to whoop your ass!
'Cause I'm mint; I'm money! I'm an educated gentleman,
So join or die, Bill, 'cause it's all about the Benjamin!
But wait, there's more…!
[Billy Mays suffers from a heart attack and dies.]
Is there anyone out there who can finish this battle?
You following me, camera guy? 'Cause it's about to get furious!
You're gonna love my nuts until you're bi-focal-curious!
Your boy George chopped down trees. You couldn't break a piece of balsa!
Slap chop your face, make a double chin salsa!
Your style's so broke, they call you "Poor Richard"!
It's bad enough I gotta see you every time I tip a stripper!
Vince against a founding father is just too bad,
'Cause after this America is gonna lose a Dad!
- A different font than normal is used for Ben Franklin's title card in this battle.
- When Ben Franklin says "I'm big Ben Franklin and this shan't be pretty", "shan't" is missing an apostrophe in the subtitles.
EPIC RAP BEHIND THE SCENES Ben Franklin vs. Billy Mays
Behind the Scenes