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Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible

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Season 5
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Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible - Epic Rap Battles of History Season 504:30

Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible - Epic Rap Battles of History Season 5

Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible
Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible
Battle information
Release date July 12, 2016
Number 64
Views 19,000,000+ (as of January 10)
Length 4:29
Timeline
Previous Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner
Next Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton
Other information
Actors Nice Peter
EpicLLOYD
Zach Sherwin
Meghan Tonjes
Mike Betette
Illjaz Jusufi
Burim Jusufi
PewDiePie (reused footage)
Rappers Ivan the Terrible In BattleAlexander the Great In BattleFrederick the Great In BattleCatherine the Great In Battle
Cameos Pompey the Great
Catherine the Great's backup dancers
Mikhail Baryshnikov (reused footage)
Rasputin (reused footage)
Vladimir Lenin (reused footage)
Mikhail Gorbachev (reused footage)
Vladimir Putin (reused footage)
Joseph Stalin (reused footage)
Location(s) Red Square
Alexandria, Egypt
The Cathedral of the Dormition
The Brandenburg Gate
Hohenzollern Castle
The Catherine Palace

Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible is the sixty-fourth installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the sixth episode of Season 5. It features the first Tsar of All Russia, Ivan the Terrible, rapping against Macedonian king and warrior, Alexander the Great. After Ivan the Terrible kills Alexander the Great, he is interrupted by Prussian king, Frederick the Great, Roman consul, Pompey the Great, and Russian empress, Catherine the Great. It was released on July 12th, 2016.

Cast

Rappers

Nice Peter as Ivan the Terrible

Zach Sherwin as Alexander the Great

EpicLLOYD as Frederick the Great

Meghan Tonjes as Catherine the Great

Cameos

Nice Peter as RasputinVladimir Lenin, and Vladimir Putin (all reused footage)

EpicLLOYD as Joseph Stalin, and Mikhail Gorbachev (all reused footage)

PewDiePie as Mikhail Baryshnikov (reused footage)

Mike Betette as Pompey the Great

The Jay Brothers as Catherine the Great's backup dancers

Lyrics

[Note: Ivan the Terrible is in brown, Alexander the Great is in red, Frederick the Great is in dark blue, Catherine the Great is in light blue, Pompey the Great is in tan, and additional voices are in italics.]

Ivan the Terrible:

Look alive, crème de la Kremlin's arriving!

Try to serve Ivan: no surviving!

You're a land rover; I'm a land expander

Here to hand you your first loss, Alexander!

I'll school you like Aristotle!

Smack you harder than you hit that bottle!

You're nothing but an overrated lush; I'll crush ya!

I'm the first Tsar of all of Russia!

You're an asshole with an anastole!

I'm heaven-sent, divine and holy!

So don't even try to approach the God,

Or you'll get a huge sack like Novgorod!

Alexander the Great:

Hey, fella! Swell diss,

But now you got the Panhellenist from Pella hella pissed!

Stepping up's foolish as well as useless,

Little Vasilyevich! Let me spell out the list:

I brought foes to their knees in Phoenicia!

Breezed through Gaza to Giza!

Had the Balkans, Persia, Syria, Iraq,

And Pakistan in my expansion pack,

While you died in the middle of a game of chess!

You got vodka bars: flavorless!

And what I'm 'bout to spit will be the craziest,

So go fix me a drink so I can stay refreshed!

Kudos! Greek for the glory I got

From winning every single war that I fought!

So this will be straightforward: I'll take up this sword that I brought

And slice you in half like the Gordian knot!

And I'll soar to the top

Like the eagle whose feather I would sport

In the helmet that I wore

As I swatted my many enemies; shattered 'em like a porcelain pot,

And they'd be praying for the torture to stop (ah!),

But I would leave 'em contorted and they'd be screaming and roaring

Until their vocal cords were torn up and shot!

And I would holler "Bucephalus!", hop on my horsey, and trot!

I win, Ivan; I vanquish! I'm an immortal; you're not!

Ivan the Terrible:

Enough! (Ugh.) I don't stand a chance against your skills!

на здоровье! A drink to your victory! Yes, I will.

It seems no one can defeat me. I weep; it's all so easy!

(Hoo!) What's wrong? I feel a bit…queasy.

Ha! You've been poisoned! Oh, the pain is unbearable!

My stomach's riddled with holes! (Ugh.) I'm terrible.

There's no great who could defeat this Russian!

Frederick the Great:

(Psst!) What about a flute-busting Prussian?

Old Fritz! Old Fritz! Old Fritz! Old Fritz!

Old Fritz! Old Fritz! Old Fritz! Old Fritz!

I'm Frederick the Great! Out the gate, first servant of state!

Oblique attack tactics ain't exactly straight!

I've got creative talents and battle malice!

Hard as steel on the field, genteel in the palace!

Russia's fucked up, but no wonder why!

With your tundras and taigas and bears! Oh my!

I would pay a guy to tear out my eyes

If I had to look at your troll face every night!

Now, bring me my chair!

I'm weary from tearing you a new derrière from here to Red Square!

Fought a Seven Years' War; I ain't scared of a Tsar

'Cause beating you only took me twelve bars!

Ivan the Terrible:

Oh, what a humiliating defeat!

I know when I am beat, so of course, take a seat!

I'd keep ripping you to shreds, but I'll take a break instead

And just rest my little head. Why don't you drop dead, Fred?!

(Hmm.) My expectations were a lot higher,

But at least I saved the rubles on the garrote wire.

It's another great day and another great victory

'Cause no great can beat me! What about me, Pompey? Yeah!

[Pompey the Great is decapitated by Catherine the Great.]

Catherine the Great:

Macedonians, Prussians, and Romans; those aren't worthy opponents.

It takes a Russian to take down a Russian. I'm Cat; I'm a cat; you're a rodent!

How are you the head of our state when the state of your head was such a crazy one?

Such sick shit going through your brain that you stuck a spike through your own son!

(Oooh!) You're unbalanced like I unbalanced the European powers with the wars I waged!

I brought the Russian empire straight out the olden days and right into the golden age!

I'm the boss bitch that you just can't meddle with!

This whole battle's like Alaska 'cause I settled it!

Ivan the Terrible:

(Mmm.) What a beautiful queen to beat me in a battle.

Accept this gift, Your Highness. I hear you enjoy the saddle!

Catherine the Great:

That horse story is a pile of shit,

Though I do keep 'em chomping at the bit,

But you're never gonna get it, nyet!

Couldn't spin in my chamber if this were Russian roulette!

I'm picking up where Peter the Great left off!

Bringing sexy back to House Romanov!

So don't call me queen; I'm far more great!

Empress to Tsar 8, bitch! Checkmate!

Scrapped lyrics

Alexander the Great:

I'm an immortal: a military authority!

My sortie's plots are studied and pored over and taught!

I would keep the heat of the battle so scorchingly hot!

I grew my empire borders way more than a lot!

And I would soar to the top like the eagle whose feather I would sport


As I swatted my many enemies with muscles that were forceful and taut!

Shatter 'em into pieces like a porcelain pot!

They were screaming till they're hoarse and their voices were shot,

But I would holler "Bucephalus!", hop up on my horsey, and trot off!

Leave 'em in an unfortunate spot!

Fold it up like an accordion; stop!

Poll

Who Won?
 
564
 
695
 
3803
 
1522
 

The poll was created at 13:32 on July 12, 2016, and so far 6584 people voted.

Trivia

General

Production

  • This is the seventh battle to use more than one tagged instrumental.

References

  • The stance made by Frederick the Great during his title card is a reference to the logo of Jethro Tull, a British rock band.[1]

Errors

  • During the line, "You're an asshole with an anastole," Ivan the Terrible leans in and points at Alexander the Great using his right hand in the scene with the other Russians but switches to his left hand in the next scene.
    • Part of Ivan's index finger is also cut off near the end of the latter scene.
  • During the line, "Like the eagle whose feather I would sport," "whose" is misspelled as "who's."
  • At 1:10, the ladle that Ivan uses to pour the poison can be partially seen through the silver cup.
  • At 1:43, Ivan's shadow misses the top of his hat; partially overlaps Alexander's corpse when it should fall behind it; and falls upon the stairs remaining flat, as if the stairs were a wall.
  • When Ivan the Terrible says the line, "But at least I saved the rubles on the garrote wire," the garrote wire is in both of his hands; however, during the next shot, it can only be seen in his left hand.
  • When Catherine the Great tosses her garrote wire over her shoulder, only one hilt is ever seen falling; the other disappears once it goes over the top of the screen.
  • During Catherine the Great's title card, her scepter is not keyed out properly.
  • At some points during her verses, Meghan Tonjes' tattoo is visible on Catherine's right arm.
  • At 3:42, the front backup dancer's shadow overlaps onto Catherine.
  • During the outro, Brennan Seltzer's suggestion appears twice.

Related videos

References

Epic Rap Battles of History

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