- This article is about the first man on Earth in Abrahamic theology. For other uses, see Adam (disambiguation).
EpicLLOYD as Adam
|Nickname(s)||The First Man on Earth|
|First appearance||Book of Genesis, c. 500 BC|
|Born||c. 6200 BC|
|Died||c. 5270 BC (age 930)|
|Rap battle information|
|Appeared in||Adam vs Eve|
|Release date||February 11, 2013|
|Votes on website||29%|
|Location(s)||The Garden of Eden|
Information on the rapper
Adam is a figure from the Book of Genesis. In the creation story, he is depicted as the first man and the first human ever created on Earth. God is said to have formed Adam from the soil of Earth with His breath, and in His image. Adam tended the Garden of Eden under God's direction, but found himself lonely very quickly. When God noticed this, He put Adam into a deep slumber and removed one of Adam's ribs, creating Eve to help him and be his wife. Together, the two were to tend to the garden and all the creations within it, and they could eat any fruit that they wished except for the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Coaxed by a serpent, the two ate of the fruit and their eyes and minds were opened, giving way to sin. Fearing that their newfound reasoning would tempt them to take fruit from the Tree of Life and thus gain immortality, God expelled the couple and set a seal upon the Garden, that they would never return to it. Meanwhile, both were made to suffer as mortals, though permitted to bear future humanity.
In some Christian schools of thought, Adam and Eve are believed never to have existed as individual people, but to be a representation of humanity as a whole.
My life was fine 'til you had to come along and wreck it.
Could you please just shut your face for ten seconds?
You cry about everything but can't decide what you want.
"I'm hungry, I'm fat, I'm cold, I'm hot!"
You call it complex, but yo, I'd call you a mess!
You take two hours to cum, three more to get dressed!
You got a lotion for this; you got a cream for that.
Got any perfume that smells like "get the fuck off my back"?
When things are good, they're great, and it's like I'm dreaming,
Until your junk starts bleeding and you turn to a demon!
It ain't Summer, Eve. Don't try to play me like a douche!
You wanna bite on my fruit? Well, you can swallow the truth!
I wasn't listening. Are you still flapping those lips?
I was just thinking, "Yo, did I give up a rib for this?"
Woman, I just don't know what your problem is.
All I know is you're acting like a colossal bitch!
Okay, that's fine, we could eat.
- He and Eve are the first and second theological characters, originating solely from religion or mythology.
- If the Creation stories aligned with real-world time, then Adam would be the earliest-born rapper overall to appear in an ERB, and the earliest-born male rapper.
- Adam is the first man to rap against a woman.
- Adam and Eve are the first two title rappers to not have ERB character bios written about them on the Epic Rap Battles of History Website.
- ↑ If the ages of Adam and Eve's children are taken into account, including that of the Book of Revelations' prophecies, then the numbers will add up to around 6200 BC.