Abe Lincoln battled Chuck Norris in Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris and appeared as a third-party rapper against Barack Obama and Mitt Romney in Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney, as well as against Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton in Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton. He was also set to battle Ronald Reagan in the latter battle, but it was scrapped. Furthermore, he made a cameo appearance in Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD, Hitler vs Vader 3, Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted, and Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill. He was portrayed by Nice Peter on all occasions.
Information on the rapper
Abraham "Abe" Lincoln was born on February 12th, 1809, in a log cabin near Hodgenville, Kentucky. He was a civil rights activist, lawyer, and the 16th President of the United States of America. Lincoln is mostly known for leading the Union States through the American Civil War, eventually re-uniting the country as one and freeing the slaves through the Emancipation Proclamation.
After a series of debates in 1858, Lincoln lost the Senate race in Illinois to his arch-rival, Stephen A. Douglas, but secured the Republican Party presidential nomination in 1860. With almost no support in the South, Lincoln swept the North and was elected president in 1860, becoming the first Republican president. His election caused seven southern slave states to secede from the Union and form the Confederate States of America. The Confederacy was defeated in the Civil War after the surrender of Robert E. Lee.
On April 14th, 1865, Lincoln was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth in Washington, D.C., only five days after the end of the war. He died the next day due to his wounds. His face can be found on Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, the penny, and the $5 bill. Lincoln is often considered by historians as one of the greatest presidents of the United States.
Good afternoon, I am the 16th president of these United States. Pleasure to make your acquaintance through this future machine! Besides my top rail beard and first class hat I also saved the Union of our federal government and kept this country afloat. Luckily, I’m a goldarn good orator and in 1863, I gave a speech at Gettsyburg, Pennsylvania about human equality that was so darn aces it got my mug on Mt. Rushmore and the penny! Look around, Abraham Lincoln is everywhere! Bully for Honest Abe! Unfortunately, some curly wolf Confederate sympathizer named John Wilkes Booth shot me while I was watching the play, “Our American Cousin.” The play wasn't that great, but I would like to have seen the end. Yours truly and fine as cream gravy, Abraham Lincoln. P.S. Since I get asked all the time, four score means eighty years. You’re welcome.
Appearance in the rap battle (cameo)
Lincoln appeared as Hitler's executioner in the prologue, parodying the infamous scene from Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi.
Lincoln, alongside Joan of Arc, Genghis Khan, and Ludwig van Beethoven, appeared briefly at the end of Bill & Ted's first verse, during the line, "Or you'll discover your Corps most triumphantly stomped!"
Lincoln, alongside George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, appeared briefly when Winston Churchill said "But if Rushmore was a band then you'd play bass!", being the lead singer of their fictional band.
Four score and 65 years in the past,
I won the Civil War with my beard! Now I'm here to whup your ass!
I've read up on your facts. You cure cancer with your tears?
Well, tell me, Chuck. How come you never sat down and cried on your career?
You're a washed-up has-been on TV selling Total Gyms,
And you're gonna lose this battle like you lost Return of the Dragon!
I'll rip your chest hairs out, put 'em in my mouth!
I'll squash you like I squashed the South!
I never told a lie, and I won't start now!
You're a horse with a limp; I will put you down!
I've got a bucket full of my head, and I'm about to make it rain!
You block bullets with your beard? I catch 'em with my skull!
I'd make fun of Walker, Texas Ranger, but I've never even seen that show!
By the power invested in me by this giant bald bird,
The President shall not be the shiniest of two turds!
You! I wanna like you! Don't talk about change; just do it!
I fought for what was on my brain until a bullet went through it!
And you, moneybags, you're a pancake: you're flip-floppity!
It's a country, not a company you can play like Monopoly!
I'll properly reach across the aisle and bitch-smack you as equals!
Of the people, by the people, for the people! Eagle!
[Note: Abe Lincoln is in dark gray, while Hillary Clinton and the bald eagle are in regular text.]
Are you fucking kidding me with this blah blah blah?!
I've half a mind to feed you both to my oversized— (CAW!)
I've heard more thoughtful discussion up in TMZ!
You two got brother blocking brother on their Facebook feed!
I'm so sick and tired of this ridiculous shit!
If this is the best my party gets, then my party should quit!
(Ha!) I'm sorry, did I say something that you found funny?
Wipe that creepy-ass smile off your face and beat this dummy!
And if she does win the White House, be a man and hold the door!
Don't get your fans stirred up in some sorta Twitter civil war!
Here's an equal opportunity smack down in the sequel!
That's of the people, by the people, for the people! EAGLE!!! (CAW!)
Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney:
I'll properly reach across the aisle and bitch-smack your faces!
Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton:
A democracy is not when the population chooses
Between the least disgusting of two sloppy, wet deuces!
I'm tired of this narrow-minded, divisive shit!
If this is the best my party's got, then my party should quit!
You better wipe that fake smile off your face and beat this dummy!
And when she wins the White House, be a man and hold the door!
Don't let your fans start some kinda Twitter civil war!
- Lincoln and Chuck Norris are the only rappers to have a cut-off title card.
- He is also one of three rappers to have a different font used for their title card.
- He is the fourth character to return from a previous battle, after Stephen Hawking, Adolf Hitler, and Darth Vader.
- He is the first to return as a third-party rapper and as a cameo.
- He is the first character to rap in three different battles against different opponents each time.
- He is the third rapper to rap in three different battles, after Hitler and Vader.
- He is the first solo rapper to have the longest poll in more than one rap battle.
- He is the only character to appear at least once in every season to date.
- He is also the only character to be a main participant, a third-party participant, and a cameo over the span of all five seasons.
- His face made an appearance in Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson on Mount Rushmore.
- He is the first rapper to be both a title rapper and a third party.
- Along with the Ghostbusters, the Eastern Philosophers and the Western Philosophers, he has rapped against the second most people throughout the series, at five different rappers, after the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
- He is the only Season 5 rapper not to appear on the official season 5 poster.